Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Pete Seeger

Not a Pete Seeger song, but still-I associate this song with him, and this version is one of my own personal building blocks. Along with other songs, books, and movies, this song made me who I am today.






What Did You Learn in School Today?

Words and Music by Tom Paxton

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned that Washington never told a lie.
I learned that soldiers seldom die.
I learned that everybody's free.
And that's what the teacher said to me.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned that policemen are my friends.
I learned that justice never ends.
I learned that murderers die for their crimes.
Even if we make a mistake sometimes.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned our government must be strong.
It's always right and never wrong.
Our leaders are the finest men.
And we elect them again and again.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned that war is not so bad.
I learned of the great ones we have had.
We fought in Germany and in France.
And some day I might get my chance.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Weekly Fatherhood Newsletter: Empathy, Toddler Playdates, and a Reading Lesson

This week's roundup includes information about new car safety rules, two examples of empathy from children, a post about a stay-at-home dad searching for a playdate, and me, being Twitter-slapped by Andrew McCarthy.

Please subscribe here to get these weekly newsletter posts in your email. Let me know if I've missed anything good, and I'll be sure to include it next week. Thanks for reading!




Baby Infographic

Baby Infographic
And I thought there was an infographic for everything. Well, now there is. A dad has put the 100 first days of his baby on an infographic, complete with an Eat, Sleep, and Poop graphics. And yes, a boob graphic. (Eat, Sleep, Poop: The First 100 Days)










Car Safety

Car Safety
New car safety laws are about to go into effect soon. The first one mandates more safety tests for babies and toddlers, including "a first-ever side impact test to ensure safety of a child passenger under 40 pounds in a car seat." The other new law will reduce the weight-limit guidelines for car seats, after studies indicated kids above 65 lbs. may be safer with seatbelts than they are using a car seat harness system. Read more about the new regulations here: Car seat safety: Feds propose new guidelines.



Condolence Letter

Condolence Letter
A kid came home from school and told his dad his teacher's father died, and that a substitute asked the class to write something for the teacher. The kid, who has experienced his own share of grief recently, went to his room and came back later with a truly beautiful letter that shows the most important thing we can have is empathy. (On Condolences, From My Son)







Dogs and Kids

Dogs and Kids
I completely forgot about this post from 2011, written right after our first dog died. I was a wreck at the time, and my then 4-year-old boy did what he could to help. Turns out, he said and did exactly what I needed him to do. Kids are often like that. (Dinner Time)









Interview

Azaria Interview
I've mentioned Hank Azaria's new web series about fatherhood last week, and this week, the guys from Life of Dad got to interview Azaria on their podcast. In the interview, he talks about the new show, about who he would have named his baby after if it were a girl (the dog), and about his own experience with fatherhood. And of course, he talks about The Simpsons. Read the transcript here: Hank Azaria – My Life of Dad.



Reading Lesson

Fatherhood Instagram
Me: What's the first letter?
3yo: T
-- And then?
-- E
-- Good job! And then?
-- N!!!
-- So what's the word?
-- Hmm... Chicken?



Stay-At-Home Dads

Stay-At-Home Dads
In this funny post, a stay-at-home dad talks about the hard time he's having trying to find a playdate for his girl, saying, "But by now, I honestly thought I’d have met a nice mom, gotten in her good graces, and infiltrated their private little group like Jane Goodall." It's funny, but also a little sad to read about his struggles. The number of at-home dads is growing, and one day there will be plenty of playdate groups for dads, for moms, and for mixed parents. Until then, all we can do is try to find our inner Jane Goodall. (Toddler Friend Finder)



Twitter

Pretty in Pink Twitter
As soon as I clicked Follow on Molly Ringwald's Twitter account, Twitter suggested I may also be interested in following Andrew McCarthy. Since I'm a #TeamDuckie, I wrote a tweet saying I was going to follow Jon Cryer instead. Then Andrew McCarthy replied with the best line ever...

Pretty in Pink Twitter


Friday, January 24, 2014

The Battleground of Parenting Ideals

Sometimes PrincessI have written before about the struggles of us well-intentioned progressive parents, who want to let our kids choose their own paths, as long as these paths are the ones we had envisioned when we first thought about having children. It's a conflict that makes me cringe when I see my daughter playing with a Barbie, even though I think the way my boy plays with the Barbie is funny. It's insisting my girl kicks the ball instead of handing it to me. It's avoiding pink, even if it's the only things that fits. It's dreading the day my boy pretends his hand is a gun, even though I had played Cowboys and Indians when I was his age.

On a guest post at Scary Mommy, titled "The Sometimes-Princess," I tried to come to terms with pink, and give myself one less battle to fight. From fast food and violent TV, to the inevitable toy guns, we constantly find ourselves at the center of a battleground between our previously-held high ideals and the reality of parenting, and as long as I'm determined to pick battles, I feel like the evil PINK should be off my enemies list.

It's just a color. And honestly, it's a nice color. And dammit, she looks good in pink!

Maybe I should just stop taking my role so seriously? Maybe I should spend less time and effort molding these kids, and instead, spend my time enjoying my short time with them?



Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Weekly Fatherhood Newsletter: Dads in Advertising, Parenting Lessons, and a New Web Series about Fatherhood

This week's roundup includes a thorough study about the way dads are shown in advertising, with some surprising results, a call for submissions of fatherhood stories for a new book, a new web series about fatherhood from Hank Azaria, parenting lessons, and more.

Please subscribe here to get these weekly newsletter posts in your email. Let me know if I've missed anything good, and I'll be sure to include it next week. Thanks for reading!




Advertising / Dadvertising

Advertising / Dadvertising
For years, I've been calling out brands that ignored dads or presented dads as incompetent fools. As late as November last year, I've called out Vicks for their acommercial, showing a dad who can't comb is daughter's hair, alongside a mom who can't take a day off to be sick, because the family unit would collapse if left in the hands of the father ("When You're a Mom, There Are No Sick Days"?). I believe ads showing incompetent dads (or ads that ignore dads) are not simply offensive, but they are harmful to men as well as to women, who still can't escape the guilt they face when they dare to get a job and leave what many still consider their "realm."

Well, good news. Zach from 8BitDad has watched and ranked 140 commercials from 2013, reaching the conclusion that the vast majority of ads show dads in a positive light. It's a fascinating study from Zach, who started ranking the videos to prove the point that dads had a long way ahead of us, but while watching the videos, had come to realize we were more than half-way where we needed to be. Read about his research and about the results, and watch some of the videos he mentioned here: Observations on Dad-Bias in 140 Commercials from 2013.



Blogging Dad

Blogging Dad
The most recent addition to my Blogging Fathers page is Bill from the blog ihopeiwinatoaster. Bill's blog is very "old school," which for me, means the rare example of writing for the sake of writing. Many bloggers (me included) often work with brands and with marketers and with PR people, trying to strategically get worthy guest post slots, thinking about ad placement and SEO... And this is all fine, don't get me wrong, but it's also refreshing to stumble across that rare blog without a special design or even a domain name, where the honest writing comes through with nothing else to obscure it. Read my introduction of ihopeiwinatoaster here: Bill.




Fatherhood Stories

Fatherhood Stories
Do you have a fatherhood story? Al Watts and Hogan Hilling, both from the At-Home-Dad Network, have secured a deal for a book of fatherhood stories. That's the good news. The even better news is that they're still collecting stories, especially more success “aha moment” stories. If you're a dad with a good "aha moment" story (or if you know a dad with a good story), head on to the Dads Behaving Dadly website and click on the Submission Guidelines page. If your story is picked, you can get a percentage of royalities, and more importantly, you will see your fatherhood story in print. The deadline is March 31, 2014. (Dads Behaving Dadly)



Fatherhood Web Series

Fatherhood Web Series
Hank Azaria started filming a web series where he interviewed his dad-friends in an attempt to try to understand the foreign, strange phenomenon known as fatherhood. Then, of course, his (then) girlfriend became pregnant during filming. There are two episodes out so far, and it's a real "You'll laugh--you'll cry" series, with a lot of funny people telling funny fatherhood stories, mixed with truly emotional bits. Guests include Bryan Cranston, Kevin Bacon, Mike Meyers, Tim Robbins, parenting experts, and random dads on the street. Watch the first episode by following the link below, and then catch a new episode every Wednesday on Mom.me (Hank Azaria's Fatherhood)



Instagram

Instagram

Did I mention I had an Instagram account? Click here for our lives in square pictures. This one is a new favorite, showing a typical family trip to Nordstrom.



Music

Music
James Hudyma from the DadsRT site was recording a song for his YouTube channel, when his son started chatting in the background. Determined to finish the song (but not to upload it, because of the interruptions), James continued recording, catching a nice little parenting moment right at the end... (Dad’s Recording Doesn’t Go as Planned, But it Works Out Perfectly in the End)





Parenting Lesson I Taught Myself

Parenting Lesson I Taught Myself
In this post, written a few months ago, I tell the story of a time I tried to make my girl strong and independent, instead of whiny. Now, I won't lie. Trying to stop a 3-year-old kid from being whiny is an exercise in futility. Whine is what they do best, after all. It's their thing. But at least now I have something to turn to when she whines. At least now she can have the tool to empower herself if she feels like doing it. Most of the time, when faced with that choice, though, she still prefers to whine... Hey, at least she has a choice. Read the parenting lesson I taught myself here: The Day I Turned My Daughter into a Mountain.




Worst Parent of the Week

Worst Parent of the Week
I found this on Reddit, with the title, "Over-parenting vs regular parents," which is actually a pretty good title, grammar aside. Basically, it comes down to this: it's great to push your kids to be the best they can be, but if you push them too hard for too long, they won't be able to push themselves. (Over-parenting vs regular parents)



Thursday, January 16, 2014

Bill

ihopeiwinatoaster

I believe blogs can be a means to an end. I know bloggers who've made TV appearances because of their blogs, bloggers who have landed good jobs in marketing, and others who used their blogs to get book deals. Which is great. But on the other end of the blogging equation, there are many bloggers who are interested in nothing more than writing for the sake of writing, using their blogs as journals, memoirs, and living testaments to their struggles and their love of their children. Many bloggers search for a balance between the two approaches.

No one I know has been more of an advocate for the idea of writing for the sake of writing than Bill Peebles from the blog ihopeiwinatoaster. In our dad bloggers group, Bill is often the voice of "old-school" blogging--he's the one who reads most of our posts, the one who compliments the rest of us the most when we write honestly, and the one most likely to complain when he feels blogging has moved away from being a platform for introverts who use blogs to express themselves in a way they can't do in "real life," to a tool cynically used by marketers and by those looking to make a quick buck on the Internet.

Bill doesn't only talk the talk. His blog exemplifies the way blogging used to be, and the way it is if we can find it. Without a fancy template, without a domain name and a hosting plan, Bill's blog manages to make you pause, think, and reflect. There are stories about his kids (never with the half-loving-half-making-fun-of-their-naive-innocence style the rest of us use when we write about our own children), videos of songs he writes for his kids (like the video at the bottom of this post), and stories about his own struggles with a world that can often make very little sense.

It's a great blog that deserves many more readers, if only to show that you don't need a template, a domain, a marketing plan, and a Klout account. All you need is your voice and your honesty.






Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Weekly Fatherhood Newsletter: Criticizing P&G and Saying Goodbye to Mr. Mom

This week's roundup starts with a heartbreaking story about a kid suffering from Congenital Heart Defect, and ends with a story about a brain-dead woman forced to continue her pregnancy due to a ridiculous Texas law. Other links include a changing-table-locations map, the end of "Mr. Mom," and a few posts about the latest ad from P&G, celebrating motherhood (while ignoring fatherhood). There are also news about paid family leave, links to funny post-it notes, and a music video.

Please subscribe here to get these weekly newsletter posts in your email. Let me know if I've missed anything good, and I'll be sure to include it next week. Thanks for reading!




Congenital Heart Defect (CHD)

Tin Man Flynn
About a year ago, I wrote a post featuring Trey Flynn, from the blog Tin Man Flynn, about raising a kid with a congenital heart defect. I remember Trey describing some good news at the time, followed by bad news, followed by good news again... And this pattern seemed to continue for a while. I was hoping it would continue for many years to come. Sadly, Trey's son, Holden, has passed last week.

Since Trey has contributed to the Life of Dad blog, Tommy Riles from Life of Dad has written about Trey, his wife, Nicole, and their son, Holden. Please head over there and read their story. Maybe even leave a comment for Trey. (Trey, Nicole, and Holden Flynn – Life of Dad Champions)



Dads on Diaper Duty

Dads on Diaper Duty
Let's say you're holding a toddler with one hand, pushing a crying baby in a stroller with the other hand, and searching for a men's room or a family changing room. And let's say you've finally find a men's room, only to realize there's no changing station there--but there is one in the ladies' room. Because dads don't change diapers, apparently. Well, things are getting better, obviously. The existence of family changing rooms alone is proof of that. But we still have ways to go, and one man is on a mission to create a map of the US with as many changing stations he could get. Read his call for action, and then head over to his map, to see what's been added in your area. If you know of a store/restaurant with changing tables in the men's room, go ahead and add it there! (I Need Your Help) (Diapers Map)



Mr. Mom

banish Mr. Mom
Well, it looks like the efforts made by people who have refused to accept the term "Mr. Mom" are paying off. No one has been a bigger voice against the term "Mr. Mom" than Al Watts from the National At-Home Dad Network, who is sharing some good news on the blog:



Today, Lake Superior State University announced that “Mr. Mom” made the list of banished words for 2014:

“The 30-year anniversary of this hilarious 1983 Michael Keaton movie seems to have released some pent-up emotions. It received nearly as many nominations as “selfie” and “twerk” from coast to coast in the U.S. and Canada, mostly from men.”

Banishing the word “Mr. Mom” was one of the key goals of the National At-Home Dad Network’s advocacy campaign for 2013 to declare “Mr. Mom is Dead.”

It's good to know stay-at-home dads are not the only ones who believe "Mr. Mom" belongs in the same category as "selfie" and "twerk." (“Mr. Mom” is Banished Word for 2014)



And speaking of Mr. Mom, I have written about the movie on the blog. While people complain about the term itself, they usually say the Michael Keaton movie was harmless. But there is one fundamental problem with the movie: it promotes a "natural" order, where peace can only exist with a working dad and a home-maker mom. More about the movie on this post. (What's Wrong With "Mr. Mom"?)



P&G Olympics Ad

P&G New Ad
Before and during the Summer Olympics, Proctor & Gamble (P&G) came out with a "Thank You, Mom" campaign, celebrating motherhood. After some dads voiced their opinions that dads, as usual, were being ignored, P&G defended itself, claiming this was a special Mother's Day campaign, and that in the future, dads would definitely be included. Well, two years later, we're in the future, and it looks very much like the past. P&G has created a similar ad for the Winter Olympics. Again, we have an inspiring soundtrack, struggling kids, and devoted moms. And again, no dads. Some people who avoided getting into this argument two years ago, are now calling out P&G for their failure to fulfill their promises. Here are three posts about this ad:

(P&G: Because Moms are loving, sacrificing parents. Dads shave. #BecauseOfDadToo)

(Wanted: Dads of Olympic Athletes)

(P&G New Ad)



Paid Family Leave

paid family leave
A third state has just joined the 21st century, leaving 47 states behind. Paid family leave is now the law in Rhode Island, joining the ranks of California, where this law has been in effect since 2004, and New Jersey, where this has been the case since 2009. There are few things more important to new parents than paid family leave, and it's an embarrassment that this is something parents still have to fight for in the US. While this country supposedly guarantees unpaid leave, many don't qualify, and many of those who do, can't afford to stay off work long enough during the important early days of parenting. Let's hope this is the next big issue we get to argue about and fight for in the next elections. (Workers In A Third State Can Now Take Paid Family Leave)



Post-It Notes

The Chive has featured one dad's post-it notes last week. The stay-at-home dad leaves these notes for his wife as an original way to document his life at home. Some very funny stuff there, and even more notes on his Tumblr blog. (Stay at home dad leaves post-its for his wife (20 Photos))

post-it notes



Pregnancy/Abortion

Pregnancy/Abortion
A very strange and sad story from Texas, where a woman was found brain dead due to a blood clot on her lungs. Her husband wanted to carry on her wishes to terminate life support, but Texas law does not permit the doctors to turn off life support, since after she was taken to the hospital, it was discovered she was 14 weeks pregnant. Now the husband basically has no say in the matter (and neither do her parents, who are also trying to terminate life support). As the Time article argues, "That pretty much means that dads have a lot of responsibility but very few rights. And in situations like the one in Texas, a father doesn’t get a say in the fate of the fetus currently gestating in the womb of his dead wife. On the face of it, that’s simply wrong." (Why the Dad Has No Say in Tragic Texas Brain Death Case)



Video

Music in General
I'm a sucker for dad videos, and this one is another great one. They're called Music in General, and the song is "Don't Tell Me ft. Jae Lava"




Monday, January 6, 2014

This Week in Fatherhood: Baby, It's Cold Outside

Winter is a great time to stay indoors and make cool drawings for your kids' lunch boxes, read a new parenting book, or participate in a simple science experiment.

Like always, you can subscribe here to get these weekly newsletter posts in your email. Let me know if I've missed anything good, and I'll be sure to include it next week. Thanks for reading!




Lunch Notes

lunch notes
The dad behind the And I'm the Dad blog usually shares funny conversations with his kids on his blog and on his Facebook page (I even shared one of those conversations the first time I wrote a Week in Fatherhood post), but something completely different has made him go viral in the past week. Mashable has published pictures of the interactive notes he includes with his kids' lunches, and the attention they get is definitely justifiable. Check out the pictures on Mashable. (Cool Dad Brightens Kids' Day With Interactive Lunch Notes)





Parenting Book

parents' phrase book
I've mentioned Honea Express' Whit Honea's new parenting book on another Week in Fatherhood post, when it was available for pre-orders, but now that the book is out, I want to mention it again. When a new book comes out, there are usually launch parties as well as virtual social media parties on Facebook and on Twitter, complete with giveaways and buzz-creating hashtags. Whatever was planned for this book is not going to happen, since Whit's mother passed recently from a car accident. Still, click on the link, read a chapter or two on Amazon, and if you like what you see, consider buying the book on paperback or on Kindle. (The Parents' Phrase Book: Hundreds of Easy, Useful Phrases, Scripts, and Techniques for Every Situation)



Sad Photos

sad photos
Previously on the blog, I shared sad photos of my kids. Personal blogging is always on the borderline of using others (especially kids) as blog fodder, and what's worse than sharing pictures of our kids at their worst? But I tried to make it more than a simple cute-pictures-of-sad-kids post. I had a reason for this post, and I hope they end up appreciating these photos when they grow up. (Sad Photos)







Science!

science experiment
Eric Novak writes on his blog: "As with anything in life, winter is what we choose to make it out to be, and this is one example of how winter can be just as fun as any other time of the year." So, once the temperatures get low enough, boil water, take your kids outside, and try this simple and cool science experiment:



On his blog, Novak explains the reason boiling water quickly evaporates once you throw it out into the frigid air. And be careful out there! (FUN SCIENCE: Boiling Water Evaporates Into Frigid Air)


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