Thursday, January 29, 2015

My Wife Wrote a Guest Post (Spoiler Alert: She Loves Me Too)


Ever since Oren started blogging he has asked me to write a guest post. I would be venting or kvelling about one thing or another and he always, under his breath, encouraged me to post about it. I, on the other hand, had tons of excuses. I’m not the best writer, his readers would actually hate me if they knew me, I have too much other stuff to do, I do enough writing for work. It just isn’t my thing, and that’s ok. But today I am ready. I’m ready to write because I have something important to say.

On August 28, 1997 I walked into the Dublin Castle, a pub in Camden Town, London, ordered a half pint, and sat at what I thought was an empty booth. It was probably the first time I had ever ordered a beer from a bartender or been to a bar by myself. As I took my seat, I realized that I was not alone. There were two guys huddled in the corner of the booth, talking. I quickly stood up, they encouraged me to stay and we all began to talk. They were musicians who were dropping off a demo tape to see if they could get a gig there. They didn’t know much about the bands playing that night but they invited me to go down the street to see their friend’s band. Feeling pretty impressed with my new found sense of independence, I agreed and we bounded down the road to the Laurel Tree. It’s at this point in our story where the facts are slightly blurred. There is Oren’s story and my story, but the short story is, the next day I told my Aunt Marlene that I had met my future husband, that I was in love and that I would be back in London. And I was right, about everything.

On that balmy, August, London night, I met the man some people only dream about. From the moment we met, I felt completely and utterly fulfilled. Every cliche is fitting. Four years later we were married, six years later Liam was born, two years later Madeline was born, and in March of last year we moved in to our dream home. The first few weeks in the house, every night, I would look at Oren and we would just marvel at how far we had come and how lucky we were.

It was two months after we moved in when Oren was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. (Holy shit, I know I have written those words before but every time it is a punch in the gut.) The early days of Oren’s diagnosis are a blur, and the last several months have been hectic and a total roller-coaster. But there are some things that I have learned over the last several months that I want to share. First, kids are incredible and resilient and we don’t give them nearly enough credit. Second, when something like this happens in your life, your friends will be there. Don’t worry, they will be. This whole thing has refreshed my faith in humanity. The goodness in people is like a life raft in the abyss of the ocean. I may not always return your messages but your words are keeping me going.

But there is one more final lesson that I have learned and keep learning. Oren Miller is the most incredible human being I have ever known. In our march through the grueling and cruel battlefield of cancer, it is Oren who is our North Star, our light in the distance. His determination, focus, sacrifice, tolerance and grace are that of an Olympian or a superhero. He is fighting. He will keep fighting. It inspires awe and has deepened my love for him at a time where I thought it was as deep as could be. I cannot imagine my life without him. He has sacrificed a lot to make our family work and it is totally worth it.

And this brings me to the ever so important thing that inspired me to write this post. I asked you all (BloggerFather fans) to join me today and raise your glasses (hopefully filled with his favorite white wine--you know, the good, kinda sour-tasting one) to wish the love of my life the happiest of birthdays.



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64 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday, Oren! We ALL love you. (No white wine in the house, though. I'll raise a glass of bourbon.)

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  2. Happy Birthday indeed!

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  3. What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. To Oren, slรกinte!

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  4. Happy Birthday Oren! It's an honor an privilege to know you. Cheers!

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  5. Happy Birthday... and you guys are both awesome

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  6. Happy Birthday, Oren! And Beth, well said.

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  7. Francis M. LinardoJanuary 29, 2015 at 4:13 PM

    Happy Birthday Oren!

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  8. In his honor I will put aside the Manischewitz in favor of... white wine?! Happy Birthday Oren and thanks for the guest post Beth.

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  9. Happy birthday!!!! Sending love, strength, prayers and e-hugs!!!

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  10. Happy, happy birthday, old man... even if your man-status must be challenged in light of your white-wine fettish.

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  11. Christopher J. TuckerJanuary 29, 2015 at 4:27 PM

    Happy birthday, Oren. What a great tribute. You're fortunate to have such a loving partner.

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  12. You're right - you can't write! Just kidding. This is a wonderful and touching piece. I'm glad you cracked and wrote it. Happy birthday to Oren!

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  13. Happy Birthday,Oren! And Mazel Tov to Beth on her eloquent post!

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  14. Happy Birthday!

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  15. Happy Birthday to Oren, and smooches to the whole family! <3<3<3

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  16. Geez, Beth. I've met you, and what's not to hate?! ;) But seriously, all of Oren's readers should be so lucky.

    Happy Birthday Oren, you rock star of a father, husband, friend, blogger & human being! L'chaim!

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  17. Happy Birthday to you, Oren. I am a friend of Brent's and have been reading your blog. Here's to a great day.

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  18. Jeff @ #DaddyisBestJanuary 29, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    Happy Birthday Oren!

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  19. Thank you for sharing the beautiful memories, Beth. So many great memories are really just fuzzy framework and it sounds like you've got the key nuts and bolts from that night in England. I'd like to send my wishes for the happiest of birthdays to you, Oren.

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  20. just read the update/just poured myself a glass of MY favorite sour RED wine(it'sa a lovely Pinot Noir from the Willamette Valley in Oregon) and toasting to you,Oren,on your birthday,,hope it was full of kids,laffs,lots of cake and a little sour white wine! the in-laws,,,they are ALWAYS there,,,right??? sigh,,,,,love to you,,and all those other folks,too Sandy & Dick Smith

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  21. Happy Birthday Oren ! You are a good person.

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  22. Happy ๐Ÿ˜Œ birthday!! You don't give yourself enough credit… you are an amazing writer with an inspirational story to tell. Thank you for sharing your love ❤ story and glad you both have eachother! You are blessed to have met the man of your dreams and to have 2 amazing children. Your family is in my prayers. Love ❤ and light!

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  23. Happy Birthday Oren! If the readers met you they would LOVE you as much as we do - as much as Oren does.

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  24. Have a super awesome birthday, and stay cool forever.

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  25. Happy Birthday, Oren! I raise my glass to you, to Beth, to Liam and Madeline, and to all your family and friends far and wide. May you be blessed. xox

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  26. Happy Birthday Oren! May your spirit and your love heal your body! Kick that cancer right out of there! Wishing you many more years in this Amazing and unpredictable thing we call life!

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  27. Lovely and touching. Happy bday brother. May you have a long fulfilling life. God bless.

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  28. Susana BertolรญnJanuary 30, 2015 at 3:38 AM

    Happy birthday and I hope Oren win not only the battle but the war. Kisses from Spain for you and your family.

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  29. Sheesh. Is this crap I have to put up with? Just kidding, it's a great story and one that you'll be arguing about the finer details of for years.

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  30. A very Happy Birthday! Surrounded by love--thank you for the post--that shines through every word.

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  31. Beautiful. I've only just read this and it's morning, so I think I'll skip the wine and have tequila instead. Happy birthday, Oren!

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  32. Happy birthday to you Oren! I will raise a pint to you after work (not a wine drinker). Fantastic memory to share. Many blessings to you.

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  33. L'chaim! Happy birthday Oren! Ad me'ah ve'esrim!

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  34. SmileyGirl in WashingtonJanuary 30, 2015 at 4:28 PM

    A day late but Happy Birthday Oren! Love your blog and love your inspiration and honesty!

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  35. Will raise a glass in honor of you both tonight.
    Cheers.

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  36. Happy birthday, and I will be raising a glass for all of you ... and to a new year of life full of hope, bringing health and continued love.

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  37. This is so beautiful and I will for sure raise my glass next time I have one. You, by the way, are an amazing writer. I wish both of you many more happy moments!

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  38. ืžื–ืœ ื˜ื•ื‘ ื‘ื•ื‘ื™ื ื•ืข. ื—ื–ืง ืขื ื”ื–ื ื‘ ืงื•ืœืจื’ื•ืœ. ืžื“ื‘ืœื™ืŸ ืงืกื˜ืœ ื•ืขื“ ืœืืžืจื™ืงื”, ืžื™ืจื•ืฉืœื™ื ืขื“ ืชืœ ืื‘ื™ื‘, ืื•ืจืŸ ืžื™ืœืจ ืจื•ืง ื ' ืจื•ืœ. ื•ืื ื™ ืœืžื“ ืžื—ื‘ืจื•ืช ืฉืœ ื—ืฆืื™ ื™ืžื™ ื›ื™ืฃ ืœื”ืกืชื›ืœ ืขืœ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ื‘ืื”ื‘ื”. ื’ื ื›ืฉืขืฆื•ื‘ ื–ื” ื›ืžื• ื—ืฆื™ ื™ื•ื ื›ื™ืฃ ืฉืœ ื”ืงื™ื•ื. ื”ืขื™ืงืจ ืœื ืœื”ืžืฉื™ืš ืœืงื ื•ืช ืžืงืœ ื—ืฉืžืœ ื‘ื“ื•ืืจ. ืื”ื‘ื” ื—ื•ื‘ืงืช ืขื•ืœื. ืื•ืจืŸ

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  39. You both are incredible individuals. I hope you had a happy birthday!! Much lvoe to your family

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  40. Happy birthday from Portland, Maine, where glasses will be raised in your honor! Wishing you and your family peace.

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  41. Happy belated birthday, Oren. Birthdays are special for sure but then, each day has something special to impart. I hope today is a good one for you and for Beth and for your children. And all those who live in the circle of your love.

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  42. Happy Birthday Oren. Your wife has written a beautiful tribute to you. I wish you both much peace and happiness. I love reading your blog. It inspires me to be a better mother, a better wife, a better person.

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  43. Beth, you write beautifully. Oren and Beth, sharing your experiences gives strength to so many people. Every day is a blessing and its so easy to forget that.

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  44. Maybe in his next life, he'll get a wife who takes care of her self, and doesn't eat like a slob

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  45. belatedly... fighter Oren...wish you all the best!!! (remain calm and focus,it's not finished anything yet.. ) :) love from Greece to both of you..

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  46. Happy belated birthday! And beth i feel your pain because my husband was diagnosed with stage 5 kidney failure around the same time as oren's diagnosis in 2014. It so damn painful to see someone you love to suffer so much. We don't have kids yet so there are no one to show me how resilient one could possibly be. I can only try my best everyday. I wish our husbands can get through this.

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  47. Happy birthday, Oren and beautiful post, Beth!

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  48. I'm not sure what you all are doing to fight this cancer but I would like to throw in my two cents if just for the possibility that it may help somehow. I have read several of your posts and there is so much LOVE. It is hard to find nowadays. I am one of four children and my dad is my rock. I cannot imagine growing up without him and I cannot wait for him to walk me down the aisle. Your story hits home and makes my heart hurt, truly. Though we are strangers I would like for your children to see YOU grow up and you them! Anyway, try a whole foods, plant based diet. It will boost your immune system and there are many success stories where it shuts off cancer. Watch Food for Change on Netflix and you'll get an idea of what I'm talking about. Good luck to you and your family! You are in my thoughts.

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  49. I've been following your blog for a short while only and thereforw only saw this guest post by your wife today. I won't ever be able to forget your birthday as you share the day with my wife :) happy belated birthday and hope it was a good one, especially considering the beautiful post from your wife!

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  50. Happy Birthday Oren!

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  51. ((((((((((((((BETH)))))))))))))

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  52. Katherine GilbertMarch 2, 2015 at 10:41 AM

    Happy belated birthday Oren! Wish I had seen this post before you passed away. May you r.i.p. I can tell that your are truly loved.

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  53. Hi Oren, I send you a link of this special man that he adopt natural methods for cancer, and I know that a lot of people get the life back. His name is Salvatore palladino you can search him on Facebook

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  54. I am sorry... The right name is Salvatore paladino.
    You can reach him on you YouTube or facebook.

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