A Blogger and a Father

Matt

2012-02-14T09:07:00.001-05:00

Matt's blog is the one I will have when I grow up. While it's organized and includes a posting schedule, it also remains a free-flowing, honest and funny look at the life of a stay-at-home-dad.

Matt writes about the insane TV shows that will be probably used as an excuse by our kids when they grow up with strange quirks ("Of course I scream in my sleep. I've watched Sid the Science Kid when I was a kid"). He also writes about his attempts to find the relation to fatherhood in everyday life. And he writes about his daughter, who seems to be the same age as my own girl. She's almost two, which is of course the best age. Now her vocabulary is growing and her personality is being defined, and to top it all, every day that passes with a 2-year-old girl, it's great to feel like those dreaded "Terrible Twos" haven't been that bad.

Of course, this will all change in 12-18 months, when the vocabulary is large enough for her to say, "I DON'T LOVE YOU!" and the personality is defined to the point of doors slammed in Dad's face... But for now, Matt seems to be having a great time staying home with the girl, which is an inspiration to all stay-at-home-parents.

OK... Actually, it's not that bad. Like it was in every developmental stage from the day he was born, things got more difficult when my boy left the Not-So-Terrible-Twos and entered the Daddy-Needs-His-Tums-Or-He-Gets-A-Heart-Attack-Threes, but somehow things got more rewarding as well. Even watching my boy getting angry at his parents is rewarding. I've created this strong-willed kid who's not afraid to stand his ground. I'm proud, even if I'm often the one he practices his defiance on...

Matt also links to his cooking blog, which of course make me feel even more inadequate as a stay-at-home-dad with my limited cooking skills.

Hope you get a chance to head over to the blog. Subscribe to the blog feed on your reader or by email, follow on Twitter, Like on Facebook, and most importantly, leave comments on his blog.

Earning Our Stickers

2012-02-08T14:41:00.000-05:00

Last month I read a post on Dads Who Change Diapers, about a dad who earned his stickers by standing by his suffering kid's ER bed. Today that was me, so I had to go and read it again.

You live your life and realize each setback prepares you for a future success, and you learn to take things easy. After all, if you fall, you get back up. You get injured? You go to the doctor. Nothing is a big deal anymore.

Then you have a kid, and one day she falls. A silly little fall, but she's limping. So you go to the doctor and after a day of "monitoring," she sends your girl to get an x-ray. And you see your tiny little girl, who can barely say ten words but one of them is "Hurt," lying down on this huge bed, and you realize nothing has prepared you for that.

She's fine. The worst case would have been a fracture, which in the end isn't a big deal, at least not when compared to some of the stories I read on Twitter and on blogs from other parents. How do these people do it... How do they sit by and watch their little kids on these big beds?

I've earned my stickers today. Didn't cry once. Neither did she.

One hurdle passed, another one coming soon. Our boy will go into surgery later this month. Again, nothing complicated, the doctor says. "30 years, I've never lost a patient."

Lost a patient.

Just let this month be over.

This Week, We've Been Mostly Watching Elmo

2012-02-07T13:23:00.002-05:00

A Legos Story

2012-02-03T15:11:00.000-05:00

He's putting Legos down his poor little sister's shirt, saying, "I'm going to make you look like Superman!" Then he realizes I'm in the room, so he says, "Sometimes Superman has Legos in his shirt."

Just Another Clown

2012-01-31T15:44:00.000-05:00

I saw a link to one of this guy's videos on the DaddysHome Facebook page. What can I say... I fear I might seem a little contradictory here, especially with spending so much time recently battling the windmills at Philips, but I have to admit I don't care how this guy feels about stay-at-home-dads.

I put a couple of videos here, just for reference, but the short version is that there's a sweaty clown on a stage who comes up with biblical references that prove men who stay home to raise kids are not men and that women naturally belong in the home.

Now why don't I care?

What he says is not shared by anyone I know.

What he says is not shared by the mainstream in society.

What he says is not even shared by most Christians.

Sure, he has thousands of followers, but it's a big country, and big-mouthed clowns find an audience. When he forms a militia of equally clownish Tintin-haired characters, I'll feel the need to fight back. Until then, Pastor Mark Driscoll can enjoy his hair, his submissive pathetic wife, his army of brainless followers, and the money he makes out of his hateful lectures.

The Coolest Dad

2012-01-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

A father in my 4-year-old boy's class drops his girl in school and a kid comes up to him.

"Where’s your guitar?" he asks.

"I didn’t bring it today. I’ll bring it tomorrow."

"Are you going to play Cat Stevens again?"

"Well, maybe tomorrow I’ll play Beatles songs"

And then it dawned on me. There are many unknowns in life. In fact, there are very few concrete facts in this changing world. But one thing is clear.

See, I've done things in life. I played in a band. In London. In front of thousands of people! (Well, hundreds.) I jumped off a bridge! I had a near-death experience once. I sleep-walked in a land-mine!

But it's no use. I have to admit--to my disappointment and to that of my boy--I will never be the coolest dad in school.

Thanks*, Philips!

2012-01-24T16:02:00.001-05:00

Before

After

First, to put it in context, here are the two posts I wrote about Philips ignoring dads:

1. Philips Norelco: Parenting is No Place for Men

2. Philips Norelco 2: Now With More Offensive Marketing!!!

Thanks to everyone who shared these posts on Facebook and on Twitter, and especially to Zach from 8bitdad for emailing Philips and tweeting its PR account. I don't know who or what eventually made Philips change their website (they didn't let me know about the changes), but I'm glad it happened. Today, Philips deserves my gratitude*.

* It's a small victory for fathers and for parents in general, but I have to mention that once I saw the changes on the Philips Norelco site, I quickly checked the Philips Avent site. Unfortunately, everything is still the same there. The baby-bottles are under the "Mother and child care" section, and the section titled, "Tips for bonding with your baby" still ignores fathers (and as mentioned in the previous post, tells mothers to invite their friends to look after the babies while the moms have a Me Time tending the garden).

Well, change takes time, but any positive change, no matter how big or how small, and no matter how many footnotes it contains, is a move forward.

Sad Photos

2012-01-21T15:02:00.000-05:00

My favorite photo from my childhood is one where my older sister and I are crying in the back seat of our dad's car. Actually, we're not even crying by then--we're at the stage of post-tears sadness, probably can't remember what we were sad about, but still filled with sadness that feels like it would never end.

I can't tell for sure what makes it my favorite photo. Maybe it's because unlike all the staged photos we had, when this one was taken we weren't told to smile for the camera. It was genuine, and it probably shows our true childhood more than any other photo.

Not that we were sad kids. It's not as simple as that. We had great joy and great sadness, like all other kids (well, like adults as well, only as adults we learn to be comfortably numb when it comes to extreme emotions, I suppose). But in that one picture, we weren't asked to be fake and to smile no matter what. Instead, we were emotional and for once, real.

Thing is, now that I'm a dad, I often make the same mistake. I take dozens of photos every day, but in the end, they're all the same, aren't they? My kids being happy and cute, enjoying every single minute of this gift of life. What kind of heartless parent sees his kids crying and thinks, "Kodak Moment!" after all?

Still, I try to do two things to keep the memories more genuine. In the end, we will all remember this time only from photos and videos, so it's my responsibility to show things as they were. First, I never ask my kids to smile for the camera, and I get uncomfortable when others do. You want my kids to smile? Do something funny. They like to see people fall over. Want my kids to smile? Hit the floor.

And the second thing I do is take the occasional candid photo of my kids when they're sad. It's not easy, because they might notice what I'm doing and resent me for that, but I feel I must do it. For their own good... See, one day when they're depressed (they'll be teenagers or even adults), they'll find themselves looking at old photos and they'll realize life has always been and always will be about highs and lows, and that just like they've dealt with the lows as kids by moving on, they'll be able to do the same for the rest of their lives. Sadness is temporary. I hope by capturing the sadness, I'll show them happiness wasn't just a childhood fad.

Nathan and Matt

2012-01-17T23:24:00.000-05:00

DadWagon

There are two types of blogs I try to feature here. One is blogs I feel I'm introducing. They have great writing but not enough people know them. I hope I can get a couple of new visitors or subscribers to their blogs and get some more voices of fathers into the conversation.

Then there's blogs like DadWagon, which have been around for a while and which I commented on many times. These fall into the distinguished "I haven't written about this blog yet???" category.

The blog, written by two New York dads (although the About page mentions a third who must have been absent for a while), is always original and thought-through. Even the header.

The latest post talks about the cost of preschools in New York and about the inherent irony of charging an obscene amount that--even if parents can somehow afford--means great sacrifice. And that without even getting into the foreskin-reattachment surgeries parents need to schedule for their boys just so they could get into the more affordable Catholic preschools.

There's humor, heart and soul in all posts, most of which touch the personal lives of the writers and their families to give a bigger picture of modern fatherhood. If you've somehow missed this blog, it's not too late to start reading now.

Philips Norelco 2: Now With More Offensive Marketing!!!

2012-01-10T15:44:00.001-05:00

A week ago, after a month-long wait for a Philips rep to call or email me (as promised by another Philip representative), I went ahead and published my post about the ignorant way Philips markets their kids' hair clipper as "Made for Moms." That post showed Philips' previous cooperation with blogging dads for the cynical marketing ploy that it was--an attempt to gain publicity in a niche market, rather than a sincere attempt to as much as acknowledge fatherhood.

During this past week, I've also found a link to some of the top people at Philips, and sent them an email, reminding them of their promise to call me back, and linking to my post. Zach from 8BitDad sent an email to other Philips marketing execs, also linking to the post.

In his email, Zach mentioned other mother-only marketing by Philips, specifically for its Avent brand.

Now, some of the Avent items are breast-feeding accessories, and it would be silly to market them to parents in general. However, (at least) most fathers feed their babies with bottles now and then, so to market baby bottles as motherhood products ignores reality and intentionally excludes fathers.

And what about their inspirational baby-monitor tips page?

"As a mother you know there is nothing more important than the connection with your baby, this is something we really take to heart at Philips AVENT."

Good on you, Philips. I have to assume that when Mommy connects with our baby I will get drunk in my man-cave. If it's good enough for Philips marketing execs, it's sure good enough for me.

By the way, let's look at Philips Avent tip number 10 for new mothers, titled "You Time":

"You know that making the most of being a new mum requires a little bit of rest, make sure you set aside some time for yourself even if it just means getting a friend over to watch your baby while you do a little gardening. It's an important part of social development for your baby to enjoy time with new people."

Two things. First of all, this is the US site of Philips (usa.philips.com), so she's not "a new mum." Secondly, I agree that she requires a little bit of rest and needs to set aside some free time for herself. But does that mean she must call a friend (while she does the gardening)? You know, Dad is right here. True, he's probably otherwise preoccupied--getting drunk, watching UFC with his buddies 24/7, but hey, as long as Mum does the gardening I might as well pitch in...

I was also curious to revisit the kids' clippers page on Amazon. I was first made aware of this product by reading an Amazon review written by a mother, complaining about the way Philips ignored her husband in its marketing, so naturally I headed there. Scrolling down, I stopped at the product description.

Yep. It's "made for women's hands." That's why dads are ignored by Philips. Our hands are simply too big for parenting. However, there are two ironic points I must make:

1. Amazon itself has an equally idiotic marketing plan for parents. You can sign up for their parenting plan and get discounts on some items and fast shipping for a year. However, you will then be a part of "Amazon Mom." Now, dads, grandparents, aunts, foster parents, and all other--let's face it--secondary caregivers (you know, the ones who deal with kids when Mum is out gardening) are welcome to join. Mighty nice of Amazon to make us feel included in the b-list of parenting.

2. And the second point is that if Mum is out gardening as soon as she can take a break from her parental duties, her hands might become rough, and then what? Her man-hands won't be able to handle this delicate machine, obviously made for more princessy moms.

And finally, this happened:

That third one is a Dutch marketing firm based in Holland, which did (and probably still does) some of the marketing for Philips (a Dutch company). So the emails worked and finally Philips paid attention. I received this email on Sunday.

Thanks for your candor in reaching out and sharing your thoughts with us. I apologize that you did not receive a response sooner. With regards to your comments about the Philips Kids Hair Clipper, we fully appreciate that both moms and dads take an active role in parenting and our campaign was not meant to convey otherwise. Our research shows that moms are the primary shoppers and users of hair clippers for kids, so we designed a marketing campaign specifically for that audience. Some of the language that you reference speaks directly to insights that were shared by moms during our product research and development process, such as the smaller, more ergonomic design that makes the clipper easier to maneuver.

Consumer insights are a huge driver in Philips’ product and marketing innovation. As such, we develop campaigns that resonate with a core consumer group – in this case, moms. Again, it’s not meant to be exclusionary, but rather direct and relatable for the person who is most likely researching and seeking information about the product line.

Thanks again for your feedback and I hope this provides some insight.

Kind regards,

Shannon Jenest
Director, Public Relations
Philips Consumer Lifestyle

1600 Summer Street
P.O. Box 120015
Stamford, CT 06912-0015

Tel: +1 203 351 5769 Mobile: +1 917 279 0843
shannon.jenest@philips.com

So everything is clear now. The kids' hair clipper is small and made for princessy hands not because Philips hates fathers, but because that's what their focus group wanted. Their focus group of moms.

Furthermore, Philips doesn't mean to be exclusionary when their parenting products specifically market only to single mothers with small hands. After all, if you're a mother whose hands are not that delicate, or if you're a dad, you're probably covered anyway by an extension on your Swiss Knife.

It can all end here, with yet another tone-deaf company with idiotic and cynical marketing, stuck with ancient ideas about parental responsibilities and hand-sizes. Or we can try to push forward to make a change.

You can join me in emailing the Philips execs listed on their marketing page, or email Ms. Jenest, whose email address was included in the email she sent me, and express your concerns.

I'm terrible at self-marketing, so it's uncomfortable for me to say that, but as long as I believe it's for a good cause--you can link to this page and/or to last-week's post on Facebook and on Twitter. Even better, you can write about it yourselves if you have blogs.

The last thing I will try to do, and hopefully get some support from readers (because I have no idea what I'm doing), is try to get some media attention. It's one thing to write a blog post about the exclusion of dads in marketing, and it's another thing for the national media to pay attention. It's not just me and it's not just Philips. Maybe we can create interest in the way blogging dads in general try to push companies to accept the shocking fact that fathers love their children too.

1/24/12 Update: Philips changes its website: Thanks*, Philips!

Philips Norelco: Parenting is No Place for Men

2012-01-03T15:39:00.002-05:00

I have recently come across this product:

It's a Philips Norelco hair clipper for kids. Since it might be difficult for kids to use it by themselves, they need their parents to do it for them. By parents, Philips mean mothers.

Last month, Philips Norelco matched up donations to a Movember group of blogging dads, including How to be a Dad. Philips is not the first company that donates to charity in exchange for a product review, and they must be commanded for this cynical but ultimately worthy type of marketing.

By connecting to blogging dads, Philips made a pro-fatherhood statement. Unfortunately, at the same time, the company says the exact opposite with their website marketing. The message that comes out is that sure, men are good for shaving and grooming, but only mothers do parenting.

In addition to the "Made for Moms" in the product description, Philips includes numerous videos teaching ~~parents~~ mothers to use the clippers. All videos show different style of mothers (referred to as "Supermoms") cutting kids' hair in different styles. You want to see men? Go back to the shaving/grooming section of the site. Parenting is no place for men.

Now, I thought it would be fair to see what Philips had to say before I wrote about it here. Unfortunately, the site has no Customer Service email address, so my only option was a live chat. Here's what happened:

The following line is Philips' response. Although I was assured someone else would call, email, or write me with a better response, no one has for a month, even after I was asked to write Philips a letter, which I did. This means the following explanation is the only official response by Philips to the question of why a parenting product is marketed as a mother-only product:

"I believe that since moms are very close to the kids and they care of the child in the early childhood they might have thought that."

You can see in the following screen shots that I tried... I was even promised a phone call from Philips.

Unfortunately, as I said, it's been a month and no one has bothered. According to Philips, then, dads are good for marketing purposes, especially when the dads involve themselves with a shaving-related charity like Movember. However, dads are not good for anything to do with being actual dads. Parenting is left for professionals like Supermom. In the meantime, dads, keep shaving those armpits.

1/10/12 Update: There's a follow up: Philips Norelco 2: Now With More Offensive Marketing!!!

1/24/12 Second Update: Philips changes its website: Thanks*, Philips!

Dinner Time

2011-12-29T22:40:00.000-05:00

While my kids were eating dinner, I finally thought I was ready to open the box we got from UPS, containing the ashes of my 17-year-old dog. Even just looking at his name on the cremation certificate was too much. I sat down and called my other dog, a 15-year-old. She came over and I hugged her head. My 4-year-old boy saw me crying.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm hugging Gingee," I said.

"Why?"

"Because I love her."

He put down his fork, stood up, and walked toward me with his arms wide open. He hugged me for a few seconds.

"I'm hugging you because I love you," he said.

On Santa Claus and Debra Winger

2011-12-24T12:29:00.001-05:00

I've seen a few parents ask others what they do about Santa. Do they tell their kids Santa is real? Do they tell them he lives forever in the North Pole, riding a sleigh driven by flying deer? And if they do all that, do they eventually tell their kids Santa wasn't real? Or do they wait for their kids to grow up and figure things out by themselves?

Well, here's why I can't do any of it. Here's why I tell my kids Santa is just a regular guy with funny clothes.

This is not a "Parents should never lie to their kids" post. I believe there's a place for fantasy in kids' lives, and there's nothing wrong with believing. My wife still remembers fondly the day she packed her bags and waited outside for the van that was supposed to take her to the Bad Girls Farm. It's one of her favorite father-daughter stories. And I took it away from her because my boy asked me if the farmer was coming and I had to tell him the truth.

So here's my story. Here's why I physically can't lie, joke, or even fib. And it has everything to do with Debra Winger.

When I was a young kid, let's say 8, my family and I watched a movie on TV together, and when Debra Winger showed up, as she often did in 80s movies, my father said, "You know, she's my first cousin."

Now if my dad told me something, it had to be true, even if it was just an off-hand comment. Which is why the next day I told everyone is school that Debra Winger was my dad's first cousin. Every time Debra Winger reappeared on our family's TV screen, my dad said the same thing, which reminded me that no matter how low I got and no matter what life threw at little me, I would always have this glamorous Hollywood connection to non other than Debra Winger. Of all people.

And as long as my dad kept reminding me about his Hollywood cousin, I kept telling people. I told old friends again, and I told new friends. I told elementary school friends and high school friends. Eventually I joined the army and told people there. "Remember Debra Winger? She used to be in movies? Well, she's my dad's first cousin! Cool, eh? I know!"

Until one day in my early twenties, I was sitting with my dad in the living room. We were watching the news, and when my dad saw one of the reporters, he said, "You know-- This guy was with me in the army."

I nodded.

"And do you know Debra Winger, the actress?" He continued. "That's his first cousin!"

RedBox Game Night

2011-12-20T16:17:00.002-05:00

Some parents don't have a TV in the house and they look down at those of us who allow their kids to play video games. Good for them, but that's not how we do things here. Sure, I don't join forces with my 4-year-old in a combined attack against zombies (that will come in the future, though), but I don't see anything wrong in letting my kid play the Wii by himself, or even better, play with me. As soon as we made ourselves a second child, he got pushed down the priority ladder of "Things we need to pay attention to or they'll wind up in the hospital," so any moment of us playing together is a precious us-time, and no misguided "Kids should only run around outside" parenting philosophy can stop me.

Personally, to the people who agree with me but say, "It's OK to play video games as long as the kid isn't just sitting there and passively watching TV," I would say there's no such thing as a kid passively watching TV, but that's an argument for another time.

So, when the Smiley 360 people, working with RedBox, asked me to talk about renting games from RedBox machines (and giving me rental codes to try it out and a free game to keep, because I guess they had a spare one in the office), I agreed. I've never rented anything from a RedBox machine, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to finally see what these red boxes were about. Actually, I didn't even know they had video games. And as some Wii games are keepers and others may be good for only a night or two, I'm a big believer in renting games. Recently, that OTHER red company was about to introduce game rentals, but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon, so now it's only GameFly, which personally I find too expensive, and RedBox, which is convenient and much cheaper. The games are mostly limited to current top sellers, which means that if you want to try out older games or more obscure titles, your only help comes from game reviews (like YouTube video reviews), but otherwise, RedBox is a great way to try out games.

Right now, RedBox is having a "12 Days of Deals & Prizes" promo, so go there now to text and win.

When Smiley 360 approached me, they also suggested I take photos of our family/friends having a game night, so I took a few, and my wife too a few more. As usual, I apologize for appearing in so many pictures. For the record, I blame my baldness on the fact that I grew up near a power station. Have a great holidays, everyone. And try not to fight with your parents. And avoid the mall.

Renting the cool Go Vacation game, which I'll probably end up buying...

Playing Wipeout 2

Going on a swim with my boy. I'm the bald one on the right...

PJ came over to play

Nothing like a little sky-diving to end a productive day

Disclosure: I worked in conjunction with smiley360 and Redbox on this post. Products were provided. No compensation was received. The honest opinions are my own and those of my family.

More iPhone Apps for Kids

2011-12-16T23:57:00.000-05:00

For a long time, whenever I received a "Look at this app and review it PLEASE" email, my answer was pretty much the same as the one on Smonk You: If you want me to review an iPhone app, buy me an iPhone. But then I got my iPhone, which I really didn't need but now will probably die if we spend a day apart, and like most other smart-phoners, I collect apps...

So this is my disclosure policy. One day I'll write a real one, but for now, this is it: I got one of these two apps for free. The second one was already free. So that's that.

The first is Solar Walk, which is selling now at $2.99. Yes, I got it for free, but you know I'm a sucker for these things. The app is from the same people who made the amazing Star Walk, and while Star Walk has some unique features you don't get with the solar version, this app includes educational movies, as well as 3D compatibility, so if you have those 80s blue-red 3D glasses or if you have a 3D TV, this will be even more amazing. Apparently.

I'm taking small steps with my kid. He's only 4, but he's curious, and every little thing can be a teachable moment. He noticed four shadows of his head in the kitchen yesterday, which gave me an opportunity to explain why that was, and then talk about shadows in general, and then I started talking about eclipses. He's at the stage where I can still teach him stuff, so I'm going to use that as much as I can before he realizes how ignorant I really am. Now back to the app.

While some of the features here are definitely for older kids or for adults, it's still a great one for kids, because a 4-year-old can spend hours playing around with this app, rotating planets, and learning about the places beyond the clouds.

Here are some pictures. As usual, they don't do this app justice. This stuff is absolutely beautiful.

The second app, the free one, is the PBS Kids app. Unlike the PBS Labs website I mentioned before, which was all about educational games, this app is basically video clips of PBS Kids shows. It's very straight-forward: You choose a PBS character and a video begins. You can scroll to the right to pick another video out of hundreds available, then touch the screen once to get full screen. And that's pretty much it. I don't let either of my kids spend too much time with my phone, because I don't want them to destroy it, and because I use it, and because I somehow feel less guilty about my parenting if I get them to run around more instead of sitting and moving their fingers on a phone, even though these apps are educational and even though every time every time every time they run around one of them gets hurt and screams. Every freakin' time.

It's Almost Bill Hicks' Birthday, So Here's an Anecdote

2011-12-10T14:29:00.000-05:00

I was driving my then-three-year-old boy to school, and again, we were going to be late. There are a lot of reasons to be stressful about that morning drive, especially because most of the way I'm driving on a one-lane road, my time of arrival entirely dependent on the cars in front of me. What I didn't need that day, though, was for that one left-turn light to turn red just as I was about to make it.

So I waited. And waited. And then, when the cars on the other side of the road stopped, I got ready, only to realize it still wasn't my turn to go. The two cars on the left had a green light first. Then the junction was empty. Everyone was waiting for that damn light! This was too much.

"Oh, come on!" I said.

My boy moved his head as much as he could, stretching the car-seat belts to their limits, desperately trying to see the road. "What happened?"

"The light!" I said. "It doesn't turn green!"

My boy leaned back in his seat and started playing with the zipper on his coat. "Don't worry," he said. "It will soon."

So today, a few days after my boy's 4th birthday and before the late Bill Hicks' birthday, I want to thank both for reminding me to stop taking life so damn seriously all the time.

Brent

2011-12-04T11:56:00.000-05:00

Designer Daddy

Not many people know that, but while my daughter's room looks more or less like this one, in a parallel universe I'm the coolest dad alive. Over there, on planet Shmearth, I draw happy murals on my kids' walls, I design the invitations for my kids' birthday parties, and--generally thinking of the world as potentially-beautiful--I never miss an opportunity to make it a more colorful place for the next generation.

Until I find the space/time wormhole, though, I'll have to live vicariously through Brent's Designer Daddy blog.

Other than design-related posts, Brent writes about media portrayals of fatherhood, adoption, and two-dads families, as well as more personal posts about his experience as a father of a two-year-old.

As usual, I love linking to blogs that should be at least as popular as those featured on the Babble bubble. I hope I get you to visit the blog and maybe find your own inner designer-parent. Or at least your inner-designer-parallel-universe-parent.

The Other F Word Review

2011-11-28T18:22:00.000-05:00

At some point in the movie The Other F Word, Fat Mike--punk rocking, spike-haired, dominatrix-tattooed singer of NOFX--discusses his parenting philosophy. His wife and he decided from the beginning that they were not going to change. Unlike so many parents who divide their lives to before children and after children, and who end up with an inevitable midlife crisis of identity, Fat Mike and his wife decided to pull their daughter into their own punk-rock world, he says.

The Other F Word is a great documentary that needs to be seen by everyone. Everyone! (It is currently screening in a limited number of locations, so meanwhile take a look at the trailer below.) The filmmakers interview and follow well known punk rockers (as well as honorary punk rockers, like Tony Hawk) who spent the first part of their lives rebelling against any and all authority, and now find themselves in the position of authority figures for their kids.

While the movie is about the ironic struggles of punk rocking dads, the lessons of the movie belongs to all parents. While some of our childhood authority figures were more worthy than others, all of us rebelled to some extent, and all of us faced (and still face) the conflict between our proud rebellion days and our transformation into the targets of the rebellion. While turning into a rebel made perfect sense at the time, we're now shocked when we see the next generation dismiss us as the keepers of the old world we've turned out to be, at least in their eyes.

While some of us had more involved and loving parents than others, we all hope to do better, and while this is very central to the movie, where many of the musicians grew up pretty much by themselves, and are now determined to do a better job as parents, we all hope to do our best, certain our best can be at least as good as our parents'.

And all of us--even Fat Mike--delude ourselves, thinking our identities are strong enough to withstand the onslaught of kids... Soon after he makes his identity-guarding statement, he walks away from his daughter's princess bed to the kitchen to make toast with butter on a plastic plate with a picture of skull & cross bones. While the parents tried to pull the kid into their world, the kid had other plans. Looks like they met somewhere in the middle.

How to Get Chick-Fil-A Out Of School

2011-11-14T10:29:00.005-05:00

I have recently succeeded in getting my kid's school to stop doing fundraisers at the local Chick-Fil-A restaurant. If you want to know how I did it or why, keep on reading.

Most people know only that Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays, and they rightly assume it's owned by Christian people. Obviously no one has or should have a problem with the religion of a restaurant owner. People should have a problem, though, with what the restaurant does with their money, and that's especially true when it comes to a school associating with that restaurant.

Chick-Fil-A is a restaurant chain owned by Fundamentalist Christians. The owners are very proud of their religion and in the way they push their version of Christianity in their restaurants. In the past, a Muslim employee was allegedly fired because he refused to thank Jesus Christ during a staff meeting. Now that the company had to settle with the employee for an undisclosed sum, they simply do their best to avoid a similar situation by careful hiring. According to Forbes Magazine, "They screen prospective operators for their loyalty, wholesome values and willingness to buy into Chick-Fil-A's in-your-face Christian credo."

More to the point is the company's very public donations to anti-gay groups (some of these groups have been labeled "Hate Groups" by the Southern Poverty Law Center). Supporting a restaurant that is so explicit in its opposition to gay marriage is taking a stand on a very controversial issue. If a school agrees with the restaurant that gay marriage is evil, then the school should hold events at Chick-Fil-A, but if the school opposes that idea or even chooses to avoid a political debate about civil rights, then the school should avoid associating itself with a company that has become the leading voice against gay marriage. News came out recently that Chick-Fil-A has given $2 Million to anti-gay organizations. When a school holds an event at that restaurant (or even worse, allows the cow mascot to visit the school for photo ops), it sends a message of support for the anti-gay agenda. By allowing your kids' schools to associate with Chick-Fil-A, your schools stop being neutral.

Now, don't get me wrong. My battle is definitely not with Christians in general. In fact, my battle is not with Chick-Fil-A or with anyone who dedicates his life to fight gay rights. People have a right to do that. However, the same law that guarantees their right to fight against the civil rights of others, gives me (and you) the right to do everything I can to stop my kid's school from having anything to do with them.

Here are some of the links I found.

The Forbes article about religious discrimination.

The article about The Family Research Council being labeled a hate group.

The Wikipedia segment about Chick-Fil-A's politics and religion.

The article from Equality Matters, dealing with the revelation of the extent of Chick-Fil-A's questionable donations.

And the most thorough link, including information on the various "charities," which include hate groups, "ex-gay" therapy associations, and groups that support making homosexuality a crime, a more recent article from Equality Matters.

Well, now that you know the facts, there are two things you can do. If you think your kids' school should take a stand against gay rights, enjoy your chikin'.

But if you think your kids' school should either support gay rights or avoid taking a stand on a controversial issue, please bring these facts to the attention of your kids's schools. I feel very fortunate that the principal at my boy's school informed me the school and the parents' association would no longer have anything to do with Chick-Fil-A. I do believe that most schools, when faced with these facts, would do the same.

A random picture found on the Internet. From NJ.com.

Josh

2011-11-08T10:43:00.000-05:00

Our Family of 4

The other day was rough. Just a tired and cranky and not enough hours in a day kind of day. I took it all on my 3 year old boy. Why couldn't he stay in his bed all night? I want to be a good parent, but I'm just so tired... I microwaved something for dinner. Couldn't take much more of that day. "Just eat your dinner and go to sleep. And brush your teeth. Or don't--I really don't care."

I read some blogs while the kids were eating. I was just passing the time, waiting for the end of the day. I ended up on Josh's "Our Family of 4." His latest post is a couple of weeks old. It's a eulogy for his beautiful son, Kade, who passed away a few days earlier. Read it, hug your kids, and donate to Make-A-Wish. And don't ever regret a moment with your kids.

Teflon Craftsman Workwear Review and a Sears Gift Card Giveaway

2011-11-04T15:54:00.003-04:00

I was recently approached by the people of Teflon and asked to review their brand of Craftsman clothes and mention these exciting sweepstakes:

Teflon® is partnering with Craftsman and Sears to give consumers a chance to win a trip for two to a NASCAR© 2012 race, VIP pit passes and an opportunity to meet Jeff Gordon. In addition, everybody has the ability to easily download a 15% coupon for Craftsman workwear from the site. http://www2.dupont.com/Teflon_My_Life_History/en_US/?src=mlh#/craftsman

The NASCAR sweepstakes go on until the end of November, and if you don't win the trip, you can still win some nice gift cards from Sears.

Which you can also do here. These very nice people need to have statues made in their honor because they also gave me one $50 Sears gift card to give away on the blog. Just to make it clear, you can use the card for anything in Sears, not just for clothes.

But before that, they also gave me a couple of items to try out. I did, and I have to say, I've never Never NEVER looked sexier. NEVER.

First, let me give you a BEFORE picture, so you'll be able to appreciate the transformation. In this picture, I'm chatting with an old school friend. As you can probably see, my horrible clothes make me too self-conscious, which does nothing for my self-esteem. My school friend didn't want anything to do with me, and I can't blame him.

And here are some AFTER pictures of these Comfy Sexy Cool clothes:

I think I need to clean my mirror.

The $50 Sears gift card giveaway is simple: Either leave your email address or your Twitter handle in a comment below, or simply tweet this:

Teflon Craftsman Workwear Review and a $50 Sears Gift Card Giveaway on @BloggerFather: http://bit.ly/soYZsH

Oh, and live in the US. Sorry.

Let's say two weeks is good? I'll contact the winner on November 18.

Good luck!

11/18 Update:

Hey, congratulations, J. 76, I'll get in touch with you now and mail you the gift certificate!

This One is for Babble

2011-10-27T15:14:00.000-04:00

I didn't make your list, but thanks for the opportunity to nominate myself for a runner-up award! Actually, I'm compiling a list of the best parenting sites. You didn't quite make the Top 100 list, but feel free to send your buddies to vote for you (daily) in the prestigious Not Quite Made the Top List category!

And this one is for Klout. For telling me I'm influential about goldfish.

And this one is for--

Silly me... For a second I forgot what this whole thing was about...

About Those 3D Frames and the Postcard on the Run App

2011-10-26T14:53:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note about the 3D frames I reviewed last week. I mentioned in the review that I used the two sides of the frame. On one side I put the kids' hospital bracelets, and on the other side a picture of the kids I got while using an app called Postcard on the Run. It's a cool app that could have been very useful if I knew about it while we were on our The-Hell-With-Guilt trip to Cancun without the kids. This app basically sends your pictures as postcards, and you're also able to add writing in the back of the postcard, a signature, and even a little map of where you took that picture. For a very long time, I didn't understand why anyone would pay extra to get a smartphone rather than a regular old dumb phone, but this is one of those apps that once you get it, an iPhone makes a whole lot of sense.

(I got a free postcard to try this out, for the record. Otherwise it costs from $.99 cents to $1.69 per postcard.)

And congratulations to eclairre for winning the frame!

A Couple of Things

2011-10-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

I wrote this (very short) thing for Redbook Magazine. It's a man's point of view item, which gave some other bloggers a chance to express love and respect for their wives. Shawn from Backpacking Dad, for example, wrote about falling in love at first sight with his wife. And Ian from Distracted Daddy wrote about how lost he is when his wife leaves for a couple of days. And I called my wife an aggressive driver.

She thought it was funny, though, so it looks like we're good. However, this is the second time Shawn threatens my relationship with my wife. First he didn't include me in his Sexiest Daddy Bloggers list, and now this...

Also,

I added this Amazon link on the top corner for books written by blogging fathers. This is a work in progress, so let me know if I missed a book. I'm sure I did. On Twitter, Henry from Fatherhood² commented that a list like that might inspire him to write his own book. I kind of feel the same way, and hopefully others do too.

Books Written By Blogging Fathers ~ A Blogger and a Father

My Daughter is a Psychic

2011-10-21T17:33:00.001-04:00

Pick a number!

Any number between 1 and 10!

Prepare to be AMAZED!