I've seen a few parents ask others what they do about Santa. Do they tell their kids Santa is real? Do they tell them he lives forever in the North Pole, riding a sleigh driven by flying deer? And if they do all that, do they eventually tell their kids Santa wasn't real? Or do they wait for their kids to grow up and figure things out by themselves?
Well, here's why I can't do any of it. Here's why I tell my kids Santa is just a regular guy with funny clothes.
This is not a "Parents should never lie to their kids" post. I believe there's a place for fantasy in kids' lives, and there's nothing wrong with believing. My wife still remembers fondly the day she packed her bags and waited outside for the van that was supposed to take her to the Bad Girls Farm. It's one of her favorite father-daughter stories. And I took it away from her because my boy asked me if the farmer was coming and I had to tell him the truth.
So here's my story. Here's why I physically can't lie, joke, or even fib. And it has everything to do with Debra Winger.
When I was a young kid, let's say 8, my family and I watched a movie on TV together, and when Debra Winger showed up, as she often did in 80s movies, my father said, "You know, she's my first cousin."
Now if my dad told me something, it had to be true, even if it was just an off-hand comment. Which is why the next day I told everyone is school that Debra Winger was my dad's first cousin. Every time Debra Winger reappeared on our family's TV screen, my dad said the same thing, which reminded me that no matter how low I got and no matter what life threw at little me, I would always have this glamorous Hollywood connection to non other than Debra Winger. Of all people.
And as long as my dad kept reminding me about his Hollywood cousin, I kept telling people. I told old friends again, and I told new friends. I told elementary school friends and high school friends. Eventually I joined the army and told people there. "Remember Debra Winger? She used to be in movies? Well, she's my dad's first cousin! Cool, eh? I know!"
Until one day in my early twenties, I was sitting with my dad in the living room. We were watching the news, and when my dad saw one of the reporters, he said, "You know-- This guy was with me in the army."
I nodded.
"And do you know Debra Winger, the actress?" He continued. "That's his first cousin!"
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