Suburban Daddy

SuburbanDaddy - parenting stories and advice from a dad with four small kids

Suburban Daddy lives in Northern Virginia with his three boys and one backward-crawling girl. The blog is about the joys and the sorrows, the trials and the victories, or in other words, the usual, day-to-day stuff that makes up parenting.

Indeed, Suburban Daddy treats it all as a matter of fact, keeping everything in proportion. With four kids around, the blog is full of small stories of family life, and reading through even a little bit of the archive, you truly get to witness these kids growing up. I bet the girl is not crawling backwards anymore... They do grow up fast...

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Too Many Windmills: My Epic Road From the Amazon and Back.

Here is the road that has led me back to Amazon. I'm no longer a member of Amazon Mom, but I'm back to buying my kids' stuff from Amazon. Unfortunately.

I'd had every intent of staying true to my principals and avoiding Amazon for ever because of their dumb Amazon Mom program, but in the end, this is not about me, but about my kids, and anyway, other places weren't any better.

After leaving Amazon Mom and Amazon in general, I was ready to find an alternative. The thing that made most sense to me at first was buying directly from Earth's Best. The girl was drinking Earth's Best organic formula, and eating Earth's Best organic meals. This was an organic, progressive company, which meant no more "Dads? What dads?" approach to marketing. I was home...

Then I found this featured prominently on their site:

Yep. The Earth's Best Parent section is called, "For Mom, From Mom."

So that was that, then.

I sent them a "Can you explain this logic" email, got a generic response, and moved on.

After looking around the Internet a little more and finding nothing, I realized that my last chance before caving in to Amazon was Diapers.com. I had a problem with that company in the past, mainly with the fact that every time I went to the site, I saw a giant banner telling me I could save 10% if only I were a first-time costumer. This got old after a while, so I moved to Amazon, but now it was time to move back.

I was even prepared to ignore the fact that Amazon was buying Diapers.com, and that I was only cheating myself... Until I saw this on Diapers.com:

And you know what? As if it weren't enough that Diapers.com was ignoring fathers, they were doing it with the most annoying spelling mistake in the English language.

So that was that for Diapers.com... And back to Amazon. Tail between my legs and all, a dad's got to do what a dad's got to do.

David

Blogger Dad

You know what I hate? Talented people. Makes me sick to know a person can write in a funny, honest, and heartfelt way, and then have that extra bonus: artistic ability.

Actually, I don't mind. He seems like a really cool guy. Maybe because he quotes Bill Hicks on his Facebook profile. And he get a couple of extra points for having my Twitter account as his latest Follow.

(Hey, here's also SeattleDad! And Laura Silverman!!!)

Twitter lingo must be really lame to people who don't care about Twitter. Sorry.

David is a father of one toddler, known on the blog as the Cutest Toddler in the World. My son is three today, which makes him, at least in my eyes, more of a kid than a toddler, so out of respect and hospitality, I will let that title stand.

As for the blog, I always hope I get at least one interested reader to check out a cool blog. Blogger Dad is really one of the best. It's funny and it's creative and it's touching, and there's a sense that David is doing his own thing on each post, which makes this blog stand out in its originality and its uniqueness. And the man can draw too! Some people just have it all, don't they...

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Vote! Vote! Vote! (for this blog)

Think voting for your favorite former-witch was fun? Try voting for this blog! Now THAT'S fun.

The Baltimore Sun has collected some of the best blogs/Facebook pages/Twitter accounts in Maryland, and now you can tell them which one is your favorite. There are different categories, so you can vote for I-Don't-Care-What in the Sports category, and then you can vote for your favorite Maryland Health blog, and then, most importantly(!), vote for this blog every day. EVERY DAY.

I mean, you don't have to vote every day, but it'll make me happy if you do, so make your own decisions. You're the one who has to live with yourself for the rest of your life, knowing full well that another blog, an equally good or even better one, has won the award because you had better things to do.

Other than that, I just want to simply thank the Sun for including this blog, and for giving me and other blogs some small exposure.

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But If It Makes Me Laugh, It Can't Be That Bad. Right?

Now don't get me wrong. I don't agree with a word he says. Ever. He's mean. He's annoying. He's a brute! In fact, he's everything that's wrong with the world!!!

Stay At Home Dad
Tags: Atom.com,Atom Originals,Atom Blog,Upload Videos

And trust me, this was the least offensive video I could find.

(And if you've seen his other videos, know that I'm a vegetarian who's never referred to meat as "dead flesh.")

(Probably thought about it, though.)

Bobby

Those Two Daddies

Bobby has a lot on his plate. He lives in a country that takes two steps forward and one step back, where politicians use him as an example of what's wrong with the country, telling voters that he shouldn't be allowed to adopt.

In his blog, Those Two Daddies, Bobby is not afraid to call out the haters. After all, what for them is one of many campaign talking points--wedge issues they hope would push them to victory, is for Bobby and for many other gay parents, a question of survival for their families. Vocal about his Atheism, Bobby calls out religions that demonize homosexuality. He calls out the hypocrites and the zealots, because they work hard to portray him and his family as the enemy within.

But that's not all Bobby has on his plate. He faces many other challenges.

How would his 18-month-old girl react to the transition to a toddler bed? Will teething ever end? Does cleaning dogs' hair ever end? Ear infections, fevers, junk food, money, shoes, and hair.

I suspect it's all worth it, though.

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Drew Griffin is a Dick

In the past year, many good bad and ugly people have tried to define me. "Hey, everyone else is writing a story about stay-at-home-dads! Get on it!"

And they did. We were poker-playing monkeys for these journalistic zoologists. And what offended them most was our presumptuousness. How dare we try to define ourselves? Don't we know there are people who are paid to define us?

Marie Claire called us trophy husbands and status symbols, Dr. Laura said we destroy marriages, David Brooks said we weren't nurturing, and The Atlantic said we simply weren't necessary.

But finally, Josh Levs from CNN let a few blogging fathers have their say. Finally, fathers get to talk about daddy-blogging in particular and about modern parenthood in general. Unfortunately, what should have been a positive piece has turned into a ridiculous attack on blogging fathers and on stay-at-home fathers.

Here's some of the video.

Now, I'm saying the video above is some of the video because the actual CNN video includes a great line from Drew Griffin, CNN's own mustache-free Ron Burgundy. The three CNN hosts talk about the bad economy, and Griffin says, "Fortunately, we haven't been turned into stay at home dads just yet."

Other than this keeper, there are enough comments from Griffin to warrant the title of this post. He suspects, for example, that fathers don't read these blogs. Not sure where he gets that one from. Oh, and stay-at-home-dads shouldn't waste time writing and reading blogs, because they should spend their time watching their kids. Well, actually I have some spare time and I spend it reading and writing blogs. Or as I said on Twitter:

Jim

sweet juniper!

So the other day I talk to a mother in a playground, and the conversation turns to blogging (because she has a great blog), and she mentions reading some stuff written by fathers. I ask her to name one of the blogs, because "maybe I read it too," and she says, "Sweet Juniper."

"Ahh," I say, "The one with Lone Wolf and Cub on the header!"

There's something about this blog that automatically pulls you in. Maybe it's the great photos, or maybe it's Jim's unique, independent voice, or maybe it's the rather obscure movie reference to one of the greatest fathers in movie history, but as soon as you land on the page you feel the blog has a soul.

I wish I knew what made a great blog (so I could). Other than good writing, good photos, and an involuntary, subconscious feeling of connection brought about by a movie reference on a header, what makes this blog stand out? What made it stand out for my playground friend?

This is some of the best the Internet has to offer. For you to decide what makes it so, you'll just have to visit the blog and start reading.

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A Family Hobby

I don't think I'm alone there. I think everyone grows up with some memory of a hobby that a parent was unable to transfer to the next generation. In my case, it was stamp-collecting. I think my father used to collect stamps as a kid, and then stopped, only to get inspired again while teaching me about stamps. Unfortunately, I wasn't inspired, and my father stopped when I did.

The other side of that comes when a parent finds a hobby he's able to share with a child. It's too early for me to search for a hobby to share with my young kids, but I guess I have to prepare for some successes and some failures. (For now, we have our shared love of Wonder Pets.)

Jason, a father from my SAHD group, found out about my blog(s), and emailed me a few links. One is a photography blog of his professional work, another is a more personal blog, with photos of his daughter, and the third is a foodie blog written by his 9-year-old son, Eli.

Since starting his blog, Eli has been interviewed on local radio, featured on Examiner.com, and has been getting a few free meals, too.

Maybe Eli will work as a food critic when he's older. Maybe he won't. But so far, this blog is a success, and not just because Eli is featured on the radio and on the Internet, but because he shares his hobby with his parents. His parents help him with the blog, taking pictures of him eating in the restaurants he's reviewing, and give him the moral support every kid needs, and definitely every new blogger needs.

Visit Eli's blog, Adventures of a Koodie, and be inspired to find your own family hobby.

(By the way, I met Jason on Twitter, using a different account. I have a few of those. In fact, most of my Twitter followers are my other accounts.)

Basanta

HER WORLD, OUR WORDS

As much as I appreciate meeting so many fathers through this blog and on Twitter, finding and introducing blogs written by fathers outside the circle of friends I've recently made is a real privilege.

Her World, Our Words is a blog written by Aryaa's parents (although I could only finds posts written by the father), and its focus never shifts away from the girl. But along the way, every post reveals a little bit about a culture I know nothing about. I wanted to write "almost nothing," but who am I kidding?

Basanta's family has recently moved from Japan to Nepal. (There's no About page, but if I understand it correctly, the family started in Nepal and moved the Japan, and is now back in Nepal.) Reading this blog is a treat, because it reveals the way fatherhood in other cultures is similar to my own experience here.

There are funny posts and more serious posts, all full of love and an honest wish by Basanta to understand his daughter's world. Like most parents, he seems to search for the balance between guiding his daughter and simply standing by and observing as she finds her own way.

Come for the anthropological curiosity, stay for the cute girl.

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Josh

Dad Street

I keep some kind of a theme here, when writing about fathers' blogs. Each is very unique, don't get me wrong. Some work very hard to maintain their individuality, while others dive in to embrace their roles as Dads. (No value judgments here, by the way. I'm probably a little bit of both.) Some are funny, other very honest and even sad. Some write essays, others mainly use photos to show their feelings about fatherhood.

But there is a theme. There is the idea that we all have something in common. Sure, bloggers are in general introverts, and men kind of keep their thoughts to themselves anyway (also in general), so it's not very common for men to chat about fatherhood out there in the real world... But by connecting to each other on blogs (and on Twitter. I'm completely sold), we can be almost normal, and that situation we suddenly find ourselves in--namely, fatherhood--actually starts making sense.

But Josh from Dad Street has much more in common with me.

Josh has two kids, just like I do. Both of them add up to 39 months, which is very close to my own kids' 36 months.

What's even stranger is that he has one dog who's 4 years old, which is exactly equal in energy levels to the combined energy of my two 16 year old dogs!

And Josh has lived in Israel and in Baltimore before settling in California. Which is very similar to my situation. The only difference is that I would LIKE to live in California.

Both of us let our kids wander at Target, because it's more fun than sitting in carts.

And both of our older kids are amazing dancers. He refuses to admit it, just like I do with my boy, but I'm sure Josh's girl got her moves from her father.

Really, I'm a new reader, but it's clear from the first sentence you'll read that Josh writes in a very honest way about fatherhood, about his kids, about that whole Balancing thing we do even if we don't know we do it, and about modern life and its contradictions.

And he says Crap a lot.

Untitled from Dad Street on Vimeo.

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A Parenting Metaphor

I have to say that most of the time, staying at home with two kids is probably not as difficult as I had feared it would be. Sure, there are moments when the girl is crying while I'm defrosting her milk, and the boy is crying because he fell down the stairs, and one dog is staring at me while peeing on the floor, while the other stands in my way because God forbid I go one day without stepping on her toes.

Some days are easy. Everything goes according to plan, and we're all happy when Mommy comes home.

And some days are full of these moments. As soon as I take care of one problem, another comes up. Or to illustrate my point:

AJ

Thingamababy | A dad’s eye view of baby and toddler stuff

The Thingamababy About page make it seem like it was meant to be just a review blog. Luckily, there's a lot more there.

Like How to build a cardboard fort for your kids' room (which he calls, "The best toy your child will ever own").

Informative and less informative links, like the recent one for The World's Worst Baby Name Generator (I got Momeduche and Naphrt).

And many small moments of fatherhood, all written with a lot of love and humor.

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The DADvocate Project

I wish I could post a blog post every day here. Maybe one day I will start doing that. When that happens, it won't take me three weeks to respond to emails like the one I got from DADvocate's Kevin Metzger.

In his email, he asks to either cut & paste his post or rewrite it. I didn't see any (good) reason to rewrite it, and I was afraid of doing a bad job, so here's Kevin talking about the Dadvocate Project.

Well, I trimmed it a bit.

The DADvocate project is founded on the belief that as culture, business, and society has changed so has the approach men are taking towards Fatherhood and family. I believe there are quite a number of factors that contribute to this change and I wanted to put together a study to find out if my thoughts had any merit. As a result I have put together the largest privately conducted survey of dads ever undertaken. Our goal is to survey 1000 dads and interview 100 of them to get a feel for the modern day dad.

If you are a dad then you'll want to participate by completing the survey. You may also want to sign up to be interviewed. If you do sign up to be interviewed then you'll be entered into a drawing for an Apple iPad to be held on August 1st. The survey is 60 questions and takes about 20 minutes to complete but it's for a good cause. I also want to ensure that I will not be using or selling any personal data. All data will be aggregated and personal details will be removed. If you don't care to be interviewed you can also take the survey completely anonymously.

The DADvocate project is starting to gain momentum and you will want to be part. Here are some quotes from others who have participated in, and/or support the project. . . .

If you’re a dad join as by taking part in the survey. If you’re not a dad share this with all the dads you know and encourage them to participate.

OK, just finished it. It was mostly harmless. Even fun. They ask about my personal income (you don't have to answer), and offer options which go from "Under $30,000" to "More than $50,000,000." And I have to say, it took everything I had not to choose the latter. I didn't read The Secret, and I was only able to make it halfway through The Alchemist, but is that what these books are about? If I chose "More than $50,000,000," would the universe have conspired to make it happen?

Another missed opportunity... Better luck next time.

Daddy Geek Boy

Daddy Geek Boy

Daddy Geek Boy is one of my Twitter discoveries, and the proof that Twitter doesn't stop us from discovering and reading blogs--it helps us get to the good stuff.

Other than being one of the first people to welcome me when I tried out the Twitter thing, DGB really had me at his Atari Joystick avatar. I have a lot of good Atari memories. Good video game memories in general, actually.

I can't say exactly when it happened, but one day all of us turned away from playing soccer to playing video games. With time, Pong turned to Atari, Atari cleared the path for Commodore 64, which made way for my father's PC, which made way for my own PC, then I got a Playstation, and then a Playstations 2, and then... right in the middle of ridding the world of zombies, we had a baby, and I stopped playing.

Other than being one of my Twitter favorites, and other than reminding me of long hours trying to secure my kingdom on Defender of the Crown, DGB's blog is just a simple, honest, and funny blog by a father who--at least that's how I see it--proves that the whole "A child changes everything" is really up to the parent, and that if like to do something before you become a parent, you don't have to forget about it once you hold your baby for the first time.

Honestly, I'm not really in the mood for zombie-killing right now. But my geek days aren't over yet. Sure, there's a long time before we join forces on Resident Evil, and I might wait a while longer before we solve puzzles on a new Silent Hill, but my boy is not far from losing in basketball on Playstation. Or in real life basketball, for that matter.

Fathers who love football make their kids love football. Fathers who love comic books share the best comic books with their kids. A child brings about changes, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't mean the end of your self-identity, because if it does, you might end up resenting your choices as a father. At least that's the way I see it, I guess.

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Happy Father's Day!

After a long day of soccer-watching, pool-swimming, and relatives-visiting, I find myself with no time for a truly meaningful Father's Day post!

So just a quick THANK YOU to all the the well-wishers on Twitter, and to my wife for my cool new sunglasses (I can finally go out in the sun again!), and to my daughter for not complaining while we watched soccer together, and to my boy for making me look good by pretending to be afraid of the swimming pool only to jump in an hour later.

Here's a couple of pictures of my boy jumping into a pool, followed by a bring-your-boy-to-work-day picture I found. Hope everyone had a great time. Thanks for visiting the blog, and following on Twitter, and joining the Facebook page, and commenting, or even just for lurking and reading. I truly feel this blog is a part of a community, and I sincerely thank you for making me feel this way.

Pat

Annoyingly Boring? is mostly a photo blog. Pat publishes one photo every day, adding a few lines at the bottom. That's it. Some are photos of his kids or of his life with them, and some aren't.

Maybe it's simply the quality of the photos. Maybe it's the way the photos tell a story and put you in the scene. Maybe it's the gentle way Pat photographs his kids or his day-by-day life with them. Maybe the secret is in the short posts beneath the pictures. Either way, Pat takes a simple 365 Project idea and makes it his own.

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Happy Mother's Day

Behind this blogging father stands a woman who works much Much MUCH harder than he does. She wakes up earlier, gets up more often at night, is forced to leave her children at home, and then, as a reward, gets to hear people say her son's behavior is a great testament to his father's dedication.

I don't stop the people who say that. It's a nice thing to hear, after all. Being a stay at home father is a challenge, and now that we have two children, it's twice as challenging (even as it is twice as rewarding).

But as this is Mother's Day, I should probably come out and admit the truth. The boy is happy because she makes him happy. He's well behaved because he looks up to her. He's healthy because she makes sure he eats well. And he has a great sense of humor because she's so easy going.

And as for the new girl, I can't take credit for any of that. Well, maybe the face.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.

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And by the way, Rick sent me a link to his site, The Mommy Song. Enjoy his video.

SciFi Dad

Tales From The Dad Side

There's a slim chance that you've never read Tales From the Dad Side, but if I get even one new person to read the blog, I'll be happy. This is a great blog, written by a guy who takes the idea of a community of bloggers very seriously. He interviews other bloggers, and he engages his readers in every post. Seriously, I challenge you to find a post you will not want to comment on. I've actually written about the blog somewhere else, so I'll just copy some of the links I used there:

There are posts about the wife. And posts about parenting philosophy. And one of my favorites, a post about going back in time to help his stressful father-to-be self. He can be funny when he wants to be funny, and emotional when he feels emotional. And really, although SciFi Dad writes about fatherhood, you get the feeling that a great writer and blogger like that could write about anything and you'll still be reading.

(Oh man... poor guy... I just realized Tales From the Dad Side is also the title of a book by this clown... Sorry.)

(And just to be clear, I looked around for a kid's picture, but I understand some blogging parents are uncomfortable with those. I did find this one, though.)

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Worst Father Award

No matter how bad you think you're doing, you're not these guys. Not sure which one is worse:

1. The father who asks what's the best way to get rid of his children. To make sure we're not quick to judge, he adds:

Preemptive for all the haters, my kids just suck.

2. The father who leaves his 1-year-old in the car at 3am, while he goes to a strip club.

3. Whatever this is. It's been online for a while now, and this mystery hasn't been solved yet, as far as I know. (every time this video comes up on YouTube, it gets deleted. Not sure why. But it keeps coming back up through different accounts.)

THIS VIDEO MIGHT BE DISTURBING TO WATCH, 

WHETHER IT'S REAL OR NOT.

Shawn

Backpacking Dad

Really? I haven't written about Backpacking Dad yet? Hmm... Never too late. I've actually been reading and commenting on that blog for a while, which is the easiest thing to do, because almost every post relates to my own experience as a father, and if it doesn't, it still relates to my experience as a person who, hopefully, takes things as they are, tells himself to avoid politics (but is never successful because things can get a little too insane sometimes), loves those worth loving, and gets angry at bad drivers. Unlike Shawn, I write unreadable run-on sentences.

The blog does not relate to my experience as a person who prefers Star Trek to Star Wars, but I move on. I'm a big man like that.

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Madeline

Just a quick thank you to everyone who's congratulated me on Facebook and on Twitter and, you know, in person. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, well, I'm talking about this cutie (the one on  the left):

As Much As I Want to Be My Boy's Buddy...

While some things give us reasons to argue, some things have been instinctively clear to both of us.

For example, while we disagree on the best way to deal with our 2-year-old boy when he throws food off the table, we didn't have to agree never to call each other Mom and Dad. It has been clear from the beginning.

Maybe it's because we share the feeling that our identities beyond Parent must be maintained, or maybe it just doesn't sound good to us. But there's just never been a question. Never been a discussion. Never an argument. We WILL NOT call each other "Mom" and "Dad."

But now that he's started referring to both of us as "Honey"... Well...

My Red Line

I took my boy to a friend of mine who has a 7-year-old girl. I don't know if all 7-year-old girls look at a 2-year-old boy as if he's a fun cabbage patch toy, but this one did. Her mom asked her to bring out some of her toys, so she ran upstairs and came back with her arms full.

When she gave my boy some cars to play with, I was happy.

When she gave him some ribbons to put in his hair, I thought, "This could be a learning experience."

When she gave him a toy brush to use on her unicorns, I thought, "Why Not?"

When she asked him how he'd like to dress her barbies, I thought, "Well, he looks like he's having fun."

But when she took his hand, walked him to the kitchen, pointed at her collection of mermaid fridge magnets, and asked, "Which mermaid would you like to be?" I dragged him back to the toy cars.

Martin

Xbox4NappyRash

There can't be a better time to finally mention Xbox4NappyRash. For months and years, his blog has been on other bloggers' blogrolls under the heading "Fathers," because Martin and his wife were trying so hard to have a baby. He was an honorary father, because we all knew that while we were complaining about sleepless nights, about the cost of diapers, about our kids throwing food on the floor, spitting, puking, crying, hitting, and even hating, Martin would have accepted it all with joy for the opportunity to have a child.

With great, honest writing, the blog had moved reader from hope to despair every month. We were there with him when he decided to have a baby, we were there when it didn't quite work, and we stayed when he tried again and again.

Well, we weren't really THERE. But he told us about it.

And then we were there when hope didn't make way for despair. Carefully, we stayed there, thinking that maybe this time, good things would happen to good people.

Earlier today, nearly three years after her parents had made the decision to have a baby, Sanne was born.

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Forty Blogging Fathers

Following my first twenty featured blogging fathers, I wrote a post thanking those fathers. As I have now written about twenty more fathers' blogs, it's time for another recap/Thank You post.

I'm still not sure what I'm doing here, but I know I enjoy it, and hopefully other people enjoy it as well. I do get positive feedback from some of you, and of course, the best feedback is reading people's comments.

After writing the first twenty posts, I've changed things here a bit by writing non-review posts as well as featuring fathers' blogs. Some of the non-review posts have been controversial, like the recent one I wrote about spanking, the one I wrote about cord-blood banking, or the one about parents who refer to their kids' ages in months after they turn two... Well, that one wasn't that controversial... And I also wrote about spending a night without my baby.

I've tried to mention some companies and organizations that still don't understand parenting is not just about mothers, like 1-800-Flowers, which honors Stay at Home Dads on Mother's Day by calling them "Mr. Mom." I wrote about the way Playtex described their sippy cups as "Designed for Mom." And I wrote about the librarians who give fathers lessons in parenting.


And I also included some short posts with videos and audio related to fathers, like Jon Lajoie's "Stay at Home Dad" song, and Garrison Keillor's song about Stay at Home Fathers.

Thanks again, to everyone who has commented here or is still waiting for an opportunity to say Hi. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE, you know.

And thanks to the previous twenty blogging fathers featured here:

DC Urban Dad, Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords, Attachment Parenting Blog, Dads and Daughters, DadCentric, Luke, I Am Your Father, Looky, Daddy!, Always Home and Uncool, The Napkin Dad Daily, Building Camelot, Nordquist Blog, Daddy Forever, Spain Dad, Out-Numbered, Child's Play x2, Dad Gone Mad, Creative-Type Dad.