Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Fall

I prefer it when things go according to plan, to be honest.

Although I had written two blog posts about embracing mortality, there was always a plan: The Tarceva--the chemo pill I've been taking since June--would work for, let's say, 5 years, before my misguided body starts fighting back. By then, there would be another treatment--maybe a clinical trial or an experimental surgery, and then, the promised land: NED. No Evidence of Disease. Followed by a big party with a big cake, big balloons, and big plans for the future.

After only a few months, though, it looks like the pill doesn't work anymore. A scan showed growth in the liver. So now what? The alternative to Tarceva is either another pill, which may or may not work for a limited time, or chemotherapy, which is limited in what it does.

And the irony is that I don't feel too bad. Walking--even standing--as much as I do now, would have been unimaginable only a couple of months ago. And now: Things are great! I'm breathing better, and I have more energy, and I go downtown with the kids, and I drive them around, and for a second, it looks like this is something I can beat, and then the doctor tells me the freakin' pill doesn't work.

Since I feel relatively well now, I tend to forget I'm on a one way road here. Sure, I'm allowed to deviate here and there, go up on this or that mountain to allow myself to be the man I was 5 months ago. I'm allowed to be active on the mountain. I'm allowed to stop obsessing about my health and about my future. I'm allowed to be a good dad and an average husband again. I'm allowed to taste life beyond cancer.

But the gift of life beyond cancer--one I wish I hadn't taken for granted all these years--is temporary. At some point, cancer wakes you up and calls you down. Time to get back on the road.

But first, here are some pictures of life on the mountain, inevitably followed by the shock of coming down:











Had an amazing, memorable, rejuvenating trip. Three days in New York, five days in the Berkshires, then 6 hours to drive back home. In the evening, I start to sweat. I have nausea. High pulse. Runny nose. All happening at the same instant. And then...

Then suddenly that smell again. Oh no, not that smell again. Imagine opening the door of an antique, wooden armoire. Imagine moth balls. Imagine getting into the armoire and closing the door behind you. That's the smell. That's what I get as soon as I start feeling sick, like I'm inside a mothball-filled armoire.

This time I'm in my own bedroom, and I'm thinking I should open a window. It's so stuffy in here all of a sudden. And just my luck that, again, the smell comes back exactly when I start feeling really sick...

And then it hits me--this is no coincidence. Oh my God, I'm not in a stuffy room! And no one else can smell anything. Is it possible that this smell comes from inside of me? Because if that's true, then that must be the smell of cancer. And then I think, I'd better get used to this shit, better learn to like the mothballs, because that's the smell I'm gonna die with.



Getting off Tarceva is not necessarily the beginning of the end. It could be the beginning of a new beginning. Or at least the end of the beginning? I'm not sure I'm making sense here. I'm still optimistic, is what I'm trying to say. I still believe. I believe that even if it doesn't help me live one additional day, optimism is the only way to live, as long as it's mixed with a healthy dose of acceptance. Optimism is what allows me to continue this journey, and what motivates me to go up on as many mountains as possible and to create memories for the kids, for my wife, and for myself, before cancer calls me back down. Plan A is over. Let's see what Plan B has to offer.



November is lung cancer awareness month. Now you know. As part of an effort to raise awareness for lung cancer, I'm including some statistics here:

-- Lung cancer is the biggest killer in the world, and second in the US only to heart disease.
-- Lung cancer accounts for more cancer-related deaths than breast, colorectal (colon), and prostate cancers combined.
-- The 5 year survival rate for lung cancer is 17% (compared to 96%, 88% and 65% for prostate, breast and colorectal cancer, respectively).
-- And despite all that, lung cancer receives only 7% of cancer funding, and 0.1% of charitable donations.
-- Lung cancer affects smokers, past smokers, and people who have never touched a cigarette. If you breathe, you are vulnerable.
(Stats stolen from this post).

A donation to one of the many lung cancer organizations (like The Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation or many more you can find online) can help turn this thing around. I believe scientists are close. I believe in science, and I'm optimistic about science. And I'm optimistic about a future where lung cancer is a disease rather than a death sentence.

Love you all.

And thank you!

It's been a crazy summer. I'm looking forward to the next one.

170 comments:

  1. Refuah Shleimah is what I will say until there is no reason to say it.

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  2. Reading along with you and thinking about you and your family and the beautiful mountains.

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  3. Your optimism, and photos, are fantastic. Keep fighting Oren.

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  4. Keep that optimism going. It's inspiring. :)

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  5. Keep climbing those mountains. They are gold for you and your family.

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  6. Thank you for your beautiful words, and deep wisdom, and for sharing this journey with all of us. We don't know each other, but I feel very privileged to learn from you as you navigate this climb.

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  7. Oren, I'm not sure which are more beautiful between your words and outlook or your incredible photos. Keep doing what you're doing.

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  8. Beautiful pictures. Enjoy everyday and remind Cancer that it won't take you that easy! Keep up the fight!

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  9. I'm so glad to see you are writing. Love you.

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  10. You're an inspirational man. Keep climbing the mountains man! Keep climbing!

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  11. post post modern dadNovember 4, 2014 at 9:35 PM

    I want to write a comment, something kind of funny, or ironic, some witticism that will if not illicit a chuckle at least generate a small internal smile. Failing that I leave this here to let you know I'm thinking of you.

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  12. Thank you Oren. I can feel your hope coming through! Lovely pictures.

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  13. I just wanted to let you know that my prayers and wishes are with you and your family. Keep going like this, do not lose faith.

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  14. I love seeing that little monkey on your back in the last photo. Climbing her own mountain. Mountains in general make a rich metaphor, something I often find myself musing about at meaningful points in my life. Take care, man.

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  15. I'm so impressed that you can find a way to be optimistic. I hope that that plan B will work and you can go NED. Climb, climb, climb.
    Great pictures.

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  16. You have a beautiful life and a wondrous soul. And I wish you and your family all the happiness you can squeeze into the good days and out of the hard days.

    I am going to be optimistic, too, and believe right alongside you and your family.

    On those days that it is hard for you to be optimistic, especially those mothball days, please remember that I am out here, believing, as I know many others are.

    Blessings to you and your family.

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  17. Bloody Hell Oren! I came across your page via Lise expecting to read some dad-chat from an old aquantence then read about all that you are going through...you write with amazing composure...stay strong.

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  18. Oren, you are an inspiration to us all. Keep on fighting the good fight.

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  19. Gareth! Good to hear from you! And thanks!

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  20. Thanks. We'll see on Friday what Plan B is. Hopefully.

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  21. I love mountains. How did I end up in flat Maryland? (I guess there are some hills here). Thank you.

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  22. Thank you and thank you. I haven't seen that name in a while. You're not blogging again, are you?

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  23. Thanks. And I'm pretty sure there was a small internal smile.

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  24. Thank you! Cancer has selective hearing, though.

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  25. Thanks! And thank you for reading!

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  26. Thank you! I'm just glad I didn't ruin these mountains by my over-filterization of the pictures...

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  27. Thank you for documenting this journey, but more than that, for sharing that with us all. Coming up on the two-year anniversary of my MIL passing from cancer, from a long and arduous journey battling the monster, with an optimism that she wasn't able to articulate in the last stretch of her fight, this comforts me in an unconventional way. To read you being so blunt and honest about the fear and the optimism and the frank reality of not just life with cancer but living with it, is beautiful. All that to say thank you, Oren. For being a wonderful father, an average husband, and an incredible you.

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  28. PLEASE try RSO (rick simpson oil) - but made with quality ingredients - a highly concentrated cannabis extract that has been killing cancer in stage IV, untreatable, and inoperable states. Just google it if you haven't heard about RSO. Your writing is lovely and you & your family will have noting to lose, and so much potential to gain, by giving it a try. As you said, you're a man of science: this plant has been around since the invention of science, and working. Best to you and yours.

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  29. Hope and optimism - the only way to live. Thanks for that sentiment. I am thankful for your words and allowing us to read/share your journey and your special moments with your family!

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  30. Thank you! And thank you for reading!

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  31. Seriously. ::platonic butt taps::

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  32. Thanks again for the blog. Puffy hearts to you and your fam.

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  33. Thanks for writing Oren, you're optimism is a powerful motivator. Thought I'd share the story of a friend of mine who has been Stage 4 with lung cancer for 6 years now. He's been on many different experimental regimens at UVA, some work for a while, others don't, the most recent is working quite well. It's a struggle, but he's been able to travel around the world with his family, see his son off to college and his first real job, work, and is still enjoying his life. Keep looking for the next!

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  34. I have a friend fighting a similar battle right now. To see such young, alive, beautiful and infinitely loved people facing such an unfair fight is something that is so hard to grasp. I just read your Huff Post entry from a few months ago and I wish I could find a way to live that level of in the moment, joy, peace and appreciation that you so eloquently expressed. I'm trying. Thank you for spreading the message. Hoping.....

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  35. Please consider taking Liposomal Vitamin C. What I've read about it is amazing! This Vitamin C is the same as taking it intravenously. Thank you for sharing your story; you give all of us inspiration! Here is a link to the brand our doctor recommended: http://www.amazon.com/Advanced-Liposomal-Vitamin-SunFlower-Formula/dp/B0082MQEOE/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1416264500&sr=8-4&keywords=Liposomal+Vitamin+C

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  36. I am in awe! I bow my head in (now que music) R E S P E C T for you :) I am almost ugly-crying here you write so beautifully (english is not my first language so bear with my writing). I wish you longer life than doctors think you have, I wish you blabbering happiness and joy and I just wish you and your family love and happiness. And as so many others I can't stop myself from mentioning someone I loved with lungcancer, my dad. Heavy smoker, heavy drinker but surpassed his goal to become a legal pentioner :) I am totally against weed.........but......... I just saw a TV show where oil from weed helped immensely agains the nausea and pain and more. Good luck and better health.

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  37. I believe that by writing this piece and being vulnerable and honest you are fulfilling your purpose. You are being a teacher. You are lifting us up. Bringing awareness.

    You have these gifts and they are now being expressed to their full potential. You are meant to tell this story. As long as you keep fulfilling this purpose, your spirit will thrive. You can heal yourself this way. I believe that! Do you? Even just a small part of you? Do you believe you can heal yourself?

    Something deep inside of me tells me you can live. Anything is possible. You have so much wisdom to share with us. Please keep fighting. For your family. For you. You deserve this life you have created.

    I'll be following your story.

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  38. Cancer has hit my family hard and it breaks my heart that your family has experienced the same hit. I may not know you, but I will still be praying for you! Never give up the fight. It is so worth it. When you have kids, you aren't given the option to give up! So keep fighting, keep making memories and keep holding on to faith.

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  39. Stay positive and take in every moment you can. Keep climbing and writing and know that you are an inspiration and your stories reach farther than you can imagine. I am drawn to anything related to lung cancer after my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer with two metastasized brain tumors (she was never a smoker). She had such a positive attitude and was full of life and humor through it all. Keep it up and hugs to you as you continue through this journey.

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  40. I have a friend in California his name is. His step daughter had brain cancer, with 6 months to live. She is now cancer free. I think she's 6 now. They have a healing community that can help, you just have to go there, they want to help people, it's not bullshit. Cannabis Oil. Jahshines@gmail.com

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  41. please don't give up.

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  42. I've got a feeling about you. New studies have come out recently about the synergistic healing from radiation /cannabis therapy. Google it.

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  43. RSO oil. I can put you in touch with my friend, he can give you details about his daughters cancer, she was sent home for basically hospice. They treated her with cannabis. Oren, this is real buddy, it can work.

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  44. Hi Oren, Thank you so much for mentioning Bonnie J Addario Foundation and adding us on your amazon. You have an amazing attitude and that really helps. I would like to talk to you more about your journey and see if I can be of any help. We have amazing resources please call the office or email me. I am on the foundations website under Patient Services.

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  45. I just stumbled onto your blog- and your life. It's beautiful.
    Thank you for sharing your story. Your writing is beautiful.

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  46. Oren, fight this - you have the spirit - I know 2 people who survived stage 4 lung cancer by drinking raw liquidized 'kerela', a bitter vegetable found in our part of the world, South Asia something like bitter gourd. I know another who is surviving after her faith and rakhee helped her to meditate and heal. You can do it.!, Shereen

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  47. Hi Oren,
    You don't know me, but your story touches me. When I was 12 weeks pregnant with my daughter, my husband was dx with acute lymphocytic leukemia (a cancer of the blood and bone marrow), on December 22, 2010. I remember asking "will he live six months to meet his child?" and I was given a resounding "I don't know." Four years later, he's here and cancer free. He had a 20% chance of survival. He ended up getting a stem cell transplant, and it cured him. He has no cancer. It's gone. Please don't give up. Plan A didn't work, but maybe plan B, C, or D will. Just so you know, a transplant is something that is done so that the doctors can give you a lethally high dose of radiation and chemo. Without new bone marrow, you'd die. So they wipe it all out and replace it (with either your own marrow or that of a donor). They do is for lung cancers and breast cancers in addition to blood cancers. Also, I don't know exactly where you live, but I urge you to contact the Hutch in Seattle and MDA in Houston. These are the top two cancer treatment hospitals in the country, and probably the world. They do SO many clinical trials and have SO many treatments. If there was ever a place that could extend your life, or even cure you, it would be one of those two places.

    I wish you the best and will be thinking about you.

    -Lottie

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  48. One more thing...Listen to the song "Clouds" by Zach Sobiech.

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  49. I am walking your path. Stay strong and don't lose your optimism. Diagnosed in Sept and also on Tarcrva for treatment. Single mom to the greatest 18 yo son on the planet. Life is to be lived. Thanks for sharing your story. :)

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  50. You are very inspiring, thanks for sharing your story! Have you heard of the book "Radical Remission"? It about real remissions of aggressive cancers. I've been (am) were you are - except I had metastasized (to the bone) Inflammatory Breast Cancer - and now a little over a year later, they cant find any cancer - none, nodda, zippo. In the book the author outlines nine principles that keep coming up with people who have healed from cancer - it's worth a read, I promise! I made dramatic lifestyle changes (too long to list) - I always say there isnt a magic bullet, but there are lots of cases of people healing from all stages of cancers.

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  51. I hope Plan B is going well, keep us updated. Thank you for sharing your life with us ♡

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  52. Please read this! It's an amazing inspiration. I wish my grandfather and aunt went with a less invasive solution... Maybe there is something in this story than can keep you with your family for a long time... maybe longer than you think.


    This man was diagnosed in his 60s and is still alive in his late 90s. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/magazine/the-island-where-people-forget-to-die.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0


    Best wishes to you on the road to healing!!

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  53. Hi Oren, I always think that death is not the end of things. Sure your life will end here on earth but I know there's more. When I die, my loved ones will grieve. But they will move on and have their own lives soon. And I will just be a pleasant memory to them. It's just the way it is. Sometimes I think that it sucks big time that I won't be there to experience things with them. But hey, at least I got to be with them even for a short time. That's something. So when I die and there's really nothing on the other side, okay. Thanks for my life. Thanks for the ride. I won't feel any pain, remorse grief or whatever. On the other hand, if there is something else, I know it will be SOMETHING. And I am excited for that. I am excited to finally find out. You are an amazing soul and I hope you will find eternal peace and happiness.

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  54. Hi Oren I also have stage 4 lung cancer diagnosed April of 2013. I am getting treatment at Johns Hopkins. I have never smoked and am 46 years old. I started my journey on Tarceva and it got me to 8 months before the cancer started multiplying in my liver. I next did chemo, 6 rounds and amazingly it shrunk the cancer down. I am now on maintenance chemo to hopefully keep everything stable for as long as it can. I hope for a while attest. After that I don't know what my plan is but I am great fun for every day God is giving me. I am praying I am the miracle that will see my youngest child graduate high school, he is now in 6th grade ( very unlikely) but I can dream can't I?
    Best of luck to you in your journey please never never never give up.

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  55. I am sickened at reading those stats. Why is lung cancer so ignored? Because it has a bad stigma associated with cigarette smoking? Awful.


    I'm rooting for you!

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  56. Wow, Wow, Wow! My husband has been living with Stage IV Melanoma for a little over 2 years. He is the stay at home parent in our family too. I am impressed every day by his optimism and his appreciation that this is it, this is the time of his life. We are on Plan D, but in a holding pattern, not NED, but Progression Free Survival and we'll take it. We are rooting for you!

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  57. Thank you. The same to your family.

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  58. Thank you. It's been a rough two weeks. Chemo is hard, and winter for someone who's lost weight and body mass and muscles is hard. So Plan B is hard, but I'll take it if it works (I find out in a couple of weeks). Then, it's Plan C. Whatever that is.

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  59. What do you think happens when we walk out of this life?
    I know what you mean when you talk about this road. I've not had stage cancer, but I was diagnosed with medically stage II breast cancer vascular & lymphatic so huge chance of it spreading. My 3 children are 7, 5, 2. I try to leave a legacy for them.

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  60. Thank you for reading and for the comment. And it is unfair, but it's also a part of life. At least as young people we have the opportunity to get a lot of support from friends and from online communities we belong to. Fellow blogging dads created a fundraiser for us, and sang to us, and traveled a lot of distance to visit us. Friends have built us a playground in the backyard. It's been a tough summer, but also an amazing one.

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  61. Hi Oren
    I was diagnosed in April of 2013 stage 4 lung cancer also. Started on tarceva which lasted about 8 months before the cancer started growing again in the liver. Started 6 rounds of chemo and that shrunk it back. Now on a maintenance chemo to hopefully keep everything stable for as long as we can. After that who knows what we will try. You have to try everything you can and the trick here is to stay one step ahead of the cancer. We know we are fighting an opponent who never loses but we need to get as many knock outs as we can. My miracle goal here is to see my youngest child graduate high school. He is now in 6th grade ( I can dream can't I?) I am 46 and have never smoked.
    Please please never never never give up. Good luck on your journey

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  62. Thank you! English is my second language too. Good luck to your dad. I remain optimistic--definitely beyond a year optimistic.

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  63. YOU are an amazing man. Your wife, children and other family and friends are truly blessed to know you. You have a beautiful heart. There are not alot of men who can express themselves in that way!! GOD BLESS YOU!!

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  64. Try cannabis oil... don't be afraid of it!! It has healed so many people! Chemo is the thing you should be afraid of since it weakens the immune system and harms healthy cells.

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  65. Cannabis oil will help you want to eat so you'll gain weight. Plus it will help shrink the cancer. Try it!! We all want to see you live to blog for many yeara to come.

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  66. That's wonderful...so much love! I've only gotten to know my friend better over these past few months because of her diagnosis, and it's so sad to me that it takes something so life-altering to motivate people to reach out and truly care. To live in the moment, enjoy those that I love, and be open to helping people live- before the bad news comes-- not just after...these are 3 things I need to work on!! Hope today has been a good day for you, and I hope tomorrow is even better!

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  67. I am a health and wellness advocate and I teach families about chemicals to avoid when shopping for personal care and home products.. many products have harmful chemicals, even in the average soap, shampoo, deodorant, etc.. that are carcinogens and endocrine disruptors I would love to send you some Non Toxic personal care products for you and your family for Lung Cancer Awareness month..if you are interested you can checkout my website at www.PANonToxic.com to see what we are about, and then please email me your address (my email is on the site) if you would like me to send you a care package. I am very passionate about education on this topic. Thank you for your Blog, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  68. There is something on the other side & He loves you & wants you to join Him in Paradise. He justs asks that you seek Him & believe Him here on earth 1st. Eternity is a long time not to research & find the right answer. A great resource oneheartbeataway.org

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  69. Im only 17 years old but I read your posts and tear up because no-one should have to go through this but you inspire me. I cant imagine what your pain is but with every word you write im enraptured by your story and im inspired by your story. You have no clue who I am but I love you and care for you as I read. Your children sound like they're great kids and they're lucky to have a father like you. I just wanted to voice how I felt about you and im praying for you now l. Youre an inspiration to anyone. Keep pushing and let no-one stop you.

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  70. Thank you. I hope you're right, but I don't know if that's how it works... I remain optimistic, though, and I believe I can help the good doctors if I maintain a positive attitude (which isn't always easy, to be honest).

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  71. Thank you. Not giving up any time soon!

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  72. On some days it's easy for me to keep a positive attitude like that, but on other days I end up sleeping all day. Well, chemo will do that to you, I guess... Thank you!

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  73. Hi,

    My father had had lung cancer and we figured it out 5 months before he passed away. We were unlucky, cancer were everywhere in his body and mind but I have high hopes for your situation. Miracles can happen. Stay strong and try out everything. I hope you win and you'll live long enough to see grandchildren from your kids.

    Sincerely,
    Kostia.

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  74. Have you heard about the Gerson Therapy? Watch 'The Gerson Miracle'

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvzDHGLEUyw&index=2&list=PL8D307B6676BB38C9

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  75. Thanks Rayne. Sometimes the only reason why I 'believe' is because I am scared of not believing because I might be punished. Or because I got nowhere else to turn to. But I also think God doesn't really help us. Not to spite us or anything but merely to just let life run its course. Look at Oren. Why would God allow this to happen to him, his family? Because it's life. It's how things are supposed to be. It's sad and sometimes horrific that we all end up shriveling, suffering before we move on to the next life. But it's just because it's life.

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  76. Dear sir,

    I'm writing you from Piraeus, Greece, and I'm speachless by your state of mind and soul. I don't have much to tell you, your life's journey has been amazing so far, to your standards, you are an inspiration to me and i strongly believe to all people you know and especially to your family. I wish i were nearer to meet your beautiful children and your courageous wife, but i sent you all my positive energy. Best regards from Greece and God bless you.

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  77. Hi Oren, I am Ana. So bloody unfair. Lost my mum to breast cancer last spring, she fought it 11 years. It's been hard. I discovered you today, and I am so glad, Livestrong posted your blog when you 1st found out the diagnosis, such an inspiring story! I just keep asking why, the randomness of that monster makes me crazy, we always think there is a reasonable explanation for things that happen to us, to others.. But listen I also read recently even watched some videos of people with lung cancer stage 4 using cannabis oil, it looks like it makes miracles!

    Please dear Oren, hang in there!!!!Lots of love xxx

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  78. I'm touching on so much, bc there are so many thoughts in your reply & I have so many things I can say. I wish I could have a real conversation with you & be able to discuss things in more depth. This life is a series of choices. God gave us free will. Without free will we would all be robots, God didn't robots. The enemy came to kill, steal & destroy. Between the enemy & humans choosing sin over God's plan is why bad things happen. God has a plan for each of our lives, but we so often don't follow. God's plan isn't a direct path though, that's where free will comes in. He leaves us to choose what decisions we will make, who we will marry or not marry, what career we choose all the major decisions up to each small decision. We deviate from this path when we choose something other than God. Sometimes we see trials as so devastating, when they don't have to be if we choose God & ultimately choose Jesus. What the enemy intends for bad, God intends for good, but only when we do things for His glory & not ours & definitely not when we follow the enemy's temptation. It seems so devastating to have to fight for your life, but God can use our trials to bring us closer to Him, others closer to Him. If we knew what was on the other side we'd all be racing to get there. We wouldn't be so scared of death. God doesn't want you to believe bc you're scared, but believe bc He made us & that's how he made us. Believe bc He loves us. God wants us to join Him, but not all of us want to join Him. It's hard for an unbeliever to understand all that I'm saying & I'm no expert & never will be, we never stop learning. I'm just asking that you seek out the truth, not just what this world says is the truth or not what feels good, but honest truth. That's why I recommended oneheartbeataway.org. You can get a free book there that discusses all the different beliefs, religions, & a lot of these things you are contemplating. The author of that book is far more knowledgable & mature than I am. I am working my way there & beyond.
    God does help us, sometimes all it takes is asking Him, truly believing in Him, & truly believing what we ask will come true. Having said that God will do what is best when He intervenes. God is not human. His way of thinking is far beyond anything we can fathom & so it is difficult to understand & see what He is doing or why He is doing it.
    I am ending with a piece of scripture that means a lot to me & goes back to you why you believe. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. ‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭16-17‬

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  79. Good luck! I was hoping Tarceva would work for me for a few years, but my body is stupid, so now we're on chemo. I hope Tarceva works for you for years!

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  80. Thank you. The first two weeks after chemo were terrible, but now, on the third week, I feel great. It apparently comes in waves now, but I'll take a good week and two crappy ones.

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  81. Some Good and Great = Awesome ♡

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  82. I don't know... So far, I'm good with my treatment, and I have faith in my doctors. Thank you!

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  83. I won't get into the stuff below, since I'm an atheist and have been one my whole life, but thank you!

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  84. Good luck! I'm also at Johns Hopkins, and recently changed oncologists (now I'm with Dr. Marrone and Dr. Brahmer), and I really feel good there. Just finished my first round of chemo, and the doctor was right--the third week is much better than the previous two. Good luck!

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  85. Thank you! It's between that and the fact that advocates of other types of cancer have been really successful. In a normal world, you wouldn't need any of that, because the government, which is there to protect its citizens, would fund everything appropriately, but in this country, where half the population sees spending money to help people as Communism, we're not anywhere close to that.

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  86. Thank you. I've just started chemo, and although the first two weeks were hard, I'll be happy to continue as long as I can if it works (haven't had a scan yet).

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  87. I can relate to the uncertainty Oren. Am a stage 2 NHL survivor. My prayers are with you. Keep going. One day at a time.

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  88. Unfortunately for me, I don't believe anything happens. But hey, I might be pleasantly surprised. Good luck to you!

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  89. Good luck to you too! I'll see in about 3 weeks if the chemo works. Things change so often here--I'd love some stability instead of getting used to a "new normal" every few days.

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  90. Thank you! I'll show it to my wife and see what she says (my shampoo days are over, I'm afraid).

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  91. It's actually pretty rare for me to have pain at all. There are other problems, but luckily, pain hasn't really been a part of it. Thank you for reading and for your comment!

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  92. You are beautiful and so is your family.

    A couple of thoughts regarding the smell of mothballs. I don't think it's how cancer smells, I think it's how toxins smell. Perhaps you were exposed to mothballs at some point in your life, including in utero? Did your mom use them or was she around them while pregnant with you? The same ingredient used in mothballs is also commonly used in bathroom deodorizers, urinal blocks etc. so maybe you were exposed another way. I am sure your wife has overhauled all your household cleaning products (don't use Mrs. Meyers- that's the worst!)

    My husband has bone marrow cancer and is in a clinical trial and is responding very well. My husband has had all kinds of weird smells/stuff come out as a result of detoxing. He finds long hot soaks in a tub are most helpful to sweat out some of the stuff. He also eats raw healthy fat first thing in the morning, i.e. half of an organic avocado- soaks up the toxins and helps to eliminate it. Neither of these things are a cure of course but they can help assist the body in functioning better.



    All my best,
    Jeannie

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  93. Ha, I don't know about grandchildren. I'll settle for another few birthdays (and then a few more). I've been feeling good in the last few days, so I'll take that.

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  94. I'd never been to a hospital before all this happened, so at least from that point it's unfair. On the other hand, it is what it is, and if it happens, then it's fair. Thank you!

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  95. I pray for you Oren and I really wish you all the best. I have faith that you'll manage to feel good and all this love that surrounds you is the best medicine you'll ever take. I read your story on a Greek blog and I found your blog because I wanted to talk to you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and all these amazing photographs with us. You're a great husband and parent.

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  96. Thank you. With the way my health changes nearly every day, going through this one day at a time is really the only way to go. And if I have a (relatively) good few days like the past few days, that's all that matters.

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  97. Ha, not even cancer will get me to eat avocado!

    I've identified two other smells no one else can smell since then, and I'm pretty sure they're coming from inside me as well... Ah well... But I will try the hot bath. That I can do.

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  98. haha- no guacamole for you!! ; )

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  99. Laughter - it does not cure but it can help a little. A british author name Nick Spalding writes in a way that the word create colorful images and at least I laughed so hard I made a little earthquake :) Wish you energized days and full of laughter :D

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  100. Hello from greece ,
    i consider cancer a life changing event in my life , as strange as it seems made me realize that we have to take it day by day , and that was one of the best things that happen to me ! keep up the spirit , and try to eat healthy.
    what we can achieve with our mind , no drugs can achieve !

    eg sorry about the bad english...

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  101. Thanks. I'll add a sample of a book to my Kindle and I'll look at the site. And just to show you I follow your advice, I started rereading Three Men in a Boat.

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  102. Ohlala! I have not read that one!

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  103. Milk Thistle, Dandelion Root and concentrated berry supplements certainly won't hurt: It's imperative to keep your blood free of as many toxins as possible. Has your doctor assigned a dietitian?

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  104. Hi Oren. I've heard great things a out xalkori, the ALK inhibitor pill. I so wanted my husband to get on the clinical trial but it was so new at the time it was difficult. Anyway sending good thoughts and vibes your way. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

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  105. Thanks for sharing your story. Praying prayers of complete healing for you and that they find the treatment that works for you. I am a cancer survivor and the journey is both rewarding and hard. One thing I found so annoying was all the reccomendations. Mine ranged from juicing lemons to oregano oil... Have an awesome Holiday!

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  106. Hello there, I think that you shoud try canabis oil because it can't harm you and you have got nothing to loose. If you haven't tried it already

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  107. I'm an oncology nurse that works with lung cancer patients every day. Thank you for bringing awareness to this horrible disease. Lung cancer needs more voices like you to raise awareness that no one deserves lung cancer! Thank you.

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  108. Please check the Burzynski Clinic | Advanced Alternative Cancer Treatment.
    www.burzynskiclinic.com

    There is a documentary about the doctor and his success in treating advanced cancers.

    The best to you.
    Yenny

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  109. Thank you, and same to you. I think xalkori doesn't go with what I have.

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  110. Ha, people try to help by offering what they know... But yea, I could do with no more comments about cannabis oil.

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  111. Thank you, and thank you for what you do!

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  112. Mary Lorraine DallasNovember 30, 2014 at 6:31 PM

    you are so brave and so positive,thank you for sharing your story with the world.

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  113. Dear Oren, Please watch these videos from You Tube if you are not aware of them already: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmvhxuW69w58AO50Ty0qdTNw8IR8XWmXX
    I just want to encourage you

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  114. Thank you for sharing your story. I admire how you can be so honest with your story and experiences. A friend of mine is struggling with cancer, and she too is a mother of a young girl. She has struggled with many of the same questions as you, and how to best cope with this new reality, so you might be interested in reading her blog. http://gracefulwomanwarrior.com/

    Also, as a dad looking for positive interpretations of fatherhood in advertising, here is a great video created by Cheerios. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GYxH2-WeZY

    You have a beautiful family. Wishing you the best on your journey.

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  115. Hi Oren,
    I just read your story a little while ago. I'm really sorry to hear about your illness. Hope that you continue to hope and fight against this cancer. I don't have anything like a miracle cure to offer you (I wish I did!), but you're not alone in your fight and you have the love of your family--that's so important to know, especially when you're sick.Hope things will improve and that you'll beat this terrible disease!Praying for you and your family!Best wishes!
    Lorie

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  116. Just found your site, i will be praying for you and your family every day. i actually found your site looking for a way to deal with my own mortality. I thank God every single day i am here, thankfully i do not have cancer but i am facing my mortality due to heart disease. Sadly it is a genetic thing and as we all know we cannot run from genetics. I intend to prove my doctors wrong and outlive their timeline, but that is my plan and i have no idea what gods plan is for me or others. I am trying to live life as best I can and make the memories. I think once you are placed in a situation like this it changes your whole outlook on life and what is important. God bless you and thank you for sharing your story. I wish i had half the positive outlook you do. I am trying but have days i feel sorry for myself for lack of a better phrase or word. i think we try to be strong for those we love but sometimes we are the ones who need to have others strong for us.

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  117. I just read the top post, and it looks like your friend isn't doing well. I'm sorry to see that. But it looks like she's taking it all in a way that fits with her blog name: Graceful Woman Warrior. I'll continue to follow that blog. Thank you!

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  118. It's hard, especially with ever-changing medical conditions (almost every day is "a new normal" for me) to not focus on ourselves. But even for completely egotistical reasons, I think focusing on others helps. It makes me feel better when I don't obsess about my health, and instead, spend time interacting with others (online or in real life). Don't feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself--it doesn't mean you're weak and it doesn't mean you're self-centered. It just means you're human.

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  119. i can tell you this, there is something, When I had my open heart, I died over 40 times, i was clinically gone many times, I did see my father and sister who have both passed, it was like i was in this room but the room seemed to have no beginning and no end, time did not exist, we talked though when it was time it took my father to make me come back, honestly, why would i want to come back to a body riddled with disease and pain. I am thankful he made me come back but i know in my heart there is something. I am so thankful for that experience as it has given me peace. I am not scared of passing just the thought of leaving everyone is overwhelming sometimes. I am a firm believer in God and those that are not I do not judge, we all have our own beliefs and we have the right to those beliefs. I cannot stand someone shoving it down one anothers throat that is one reason religion is so controversial. So many people need to take a cue from Mr. Millers outlook on life, live literally like your dying and enjoy every last minute of your life, we only get to do it once and we need to remember while living take time to smell the roses. life is what it is and in the end every one of us will pass. In the mean time enjoy it, live it, love it. let those you love know how you feel, Don't ever walk away mad, have no regrets, hold no grudges, and live. Every single day is a gift, do what you want with that gift but in my opinion if you don't make the best of every day then you have failed not only yourself but those around you. Like the song says "what a wonderful world." Enjoy the beauty and those surrounding it. Make memories that others will not forget.

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  120. Thank you, you are right it is alright to feel sorry for ourselves, the important thing is we pick ourselves up and realize we are human and we will have these times. Life is what we make it no matter how long or short it is. Like you I like to focus on others, not only does it keep me sane but it makes me feel good helping others.

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  121. Have you looked into it? Have you looked at other very promising safe alternative treatments?

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  122. Those that love like God judge the sin, not the sinner. The sin is wrong, does that mean we hate the person or be mean to the person, no. I'm a sinner. My sins are no less than anyone else. God is Holy. To a Holy God even one sin is just as vial & dirty as a million. I heard an analogy recently that said if I had a white shirt & I put one dot on it from a pen it would no longer be a clean white shirt. That's how God sees sin, we aren't a clean white shirt, our sins make us dirty. So no matter if the shirt has one dot or a million it's not a clean white shirt. If I want to be washed of my sins so I can join God in heaven, scripture tells me there is only one way & that is by clean Holy, sinless blood, Christ Jesus. So by saying that I am sharing the good news with as many as I can. The good news is that although I have broken God's commands & unholy I can become washed of my sins completely by only believing in Jesus. When my time ends here on earth I can join my father in heaven away from this world. To share this with people you have to politely & lovingly point out what God says is sinful & how to turn from that sin. Def not shoving it down anyone's throat. I don't know anyone who would listen when anyone shoved something down their throat. Talking about God & speaking truth aren't shoving it down someone's throat. Shoving it down someone's throat is forceful. I have been commanded by God to speak His truth in a loving way not a forceful way. It's each person's decision, not mine. Nothing I say can force anyone to believe, it's their decision. There are some believers that could find that statement helpful. It is def harder to talk & show God's love through typing only. I find that having a conversation works best. I agree we should def live each day to our full potential & if we aren't we are failing many many of those around us! Belief in Christ Jesus is the most life altering & lasting memory.
    Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well.” John‬ ‭14‬:‭6-7‬

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  123. I just want to say, just because we've always believed something or done something a certain way doesn't mean we can't do something differently. I am the living truth to that. What would it hurt to seek truth. In the end if you find out you are right then what has it hurt to have looked. If you are wrong, what if...

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  124. Please try alternative health care. There are so many people that have been cured by supplementing their health. Try Essiac tea, it's supposed to help with cancer. Mind you, I am not telling you to go against your doctor's orders or give up the medication you've been given. Just to go to a holistic doctor so you can check your mineral deficiencies,etc. what supplements you need etc that can boost your immune system. Many times when people develop cancer, there are huge mineral deficiencies in the system. Also, please read about Anne Wigmore, she cured many people who were literally on the brink of death. Also read about Dr. Budwig's treatment.. I will continue to pray for you and your family.

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  125. I'm going to go with my doctors. I believe in conventional medicine. I know I know... And I know everyone means well, but it's my life, and these are my choices.

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  126. I'm going to go ahead and believe you mean well, but know there is no chance I'm ever going to believe in your god. I hope that settles it. Please don't reply anymore.

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  127. My former fiance died of lung cancer and it IS indeed your life and your choices but you cannot FATHOM grief. Don't put your wife and kids through it without trying everything. Consider that this is not so much about you but about them... My fiance and I did not know about all the alternative stuff and the cancer industry, by the way... I only found out after. Children do not believe in a "healthy dose of acceptance..." You can live if YOU decide to, if YOU choose to. You're one powerful man with many lives in your hands, not just your own. I pray you get that the core of your very being. Don't be a statistic. God bless you!

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  128. Any treatment that has not been tested in a clinical trial (with thousand of patients) means nothing in medicine. Stop playing with hopes, please don't manipulate anybody.
    Just because its written in google is not enought for this kind of ilness.

    Another interesting point is when to stop taking drugs and just use what makes you feel better.

    Please, don't rage. People suffer a lot when there is a hopeless situation and not demonstrated treatments are offered.

    Of course Oren, be strong, dont suffer, enjoy and good luck.

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  129. Dear "Dr." There is no playing with hopes, no manipulating, no raging in my post... just my personal experience shared in love. God bless you and Oren and all people! ;-)

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  130. Stay alkaline my friend. Your body needs a vegan diet and staying super hydrated all day long to support the fight it's going through, it can heal itself as long as you support it the right way. Forget about meat, fish, dairy and eggs. Go big on fruits and vegetables. You have a top mental attitude, don't forget the other half. NutritionFacts' Youtube channel is a great place to start.

    Don't trust it all to big pharma, unfortunately they are here to make money first, people comes second.

    That's all I would like someone to tell me if I was in your situation and didn't know what I now know.

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  131. Thanks. It's amazing to me how people try to say the right thing, but end up with a "If you don't try this, your children will suffer!" -- Some people don't have a clue how offensive they are...

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  132. Hi oren. I'm reading you from Spain. A friend shared to me your page, and I started reading your posts.
    I'm not that kind of girl that's always on internet writting to everyone on blogs, facebook or whatever. Truthly I'd never done it. But you moved me. Your story, your words, what were you saying made me open my eyes. I have "el corazón en la mano" as we say (I think the translation is the heart in a hand).
    Just wanna wish you my best hope, and best wishes for you. And also if whatever you try doesn't work, stay strong. Believe you can win and if not, don't give up. I'm not saying you must fight because if you're suffering that's not the fight way. I mean, don't give up with your love, don't give up living the best as possible with your family, enjoying every little moment, don't forget to live in your own Heaven in the Earth.
    You showed me that.

    Impossible is nothing... Don't worry about what you maybe won't see, live 200% what is happening now.
    Just wanna tell you that. I needed it. Sorry for my English because is not so good man! I'm Just 20, and probably the worst English speaker in Spain.

    Good luck big father! :)

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  133. Thank you, Ari. I'm trying to be strong--sometimes it's easier than at other times. And your English is good!

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  134. You are awesome. I know you have received a lot of love in these comments, and I wanted to send mine to you as well. Your write from a very genuine place. I imagine you live from that place as well - your family is so lucky to have you - your story is moving - I think it id great that you are willing to share it. So much Love to you and yours <3

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  135. I am so sorry you are faced with this disease but God is bigger than we are and please put your trust in Him who sent His son, ( fore told in Isaiah 53). He came to die for our sins and you can have eternal life if you believe in Him. There Is an afterlife! May God be with you. Read, I John 1/5-9 in the Bible

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  136. Oh my goodness oren! ! I rarely get angry at posts but the earlier post has made me both very angry and very sad. The memories you make and leave with your family will be more precious and treasured than anything else you do or don't do in the way of treatment. Thank you for sharing such honest, powerful blogs. I am thrilled and honoured (yes honestly) to have the opportunity to "meet" such an extraordinary yet somehow ordinary (in a good, apple pie kinda way) man. If there's anything you need than I think you just need shout and there'll be many who will respond - even if it's just someone to listen. Love to you and yours xxx

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  137. Thank you for saying that and thanks for the love for our family!

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  138. As Sarah Palin said, thanks, but no thanks.

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  139. Thank you again. People have been amazing, and really, this whole period has been amazing. I've started chemo since this post, and although it sometimes makes me tired to the point where I can do nothing but lie in bed, it shrinks the tumors, so I'll take it.

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  140. Hi oren. I can't even begin to imagine how exhausting and debilitating chemo must be at times but I am over the moon to hear the tumour is shrinking! Long may that continue! In case I don't speak to you again before then I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family filled with Healthy and happy moments. Lots of love and best wishes xxx

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  141. There is much to read about how increasing alkalinity fights the acidic environment lioving cancers. Cesium chloride is a mineral used by the famous physician Sartori, MD. It prevents ONLY the cancer cells from absorbing glucose by disrupting the sodium potassium pump. Many MDs are leaving the Big Pharma controlled conventions and using more natural non toxic treatments. There is also the work of Berzensku in Houston. Even baking soda in water can alter pH enough to shrink tumors. Big Pharma and their $$$ controlled teaching hospitals, universities, erx suppress and block the use of naturals where they can. It could wioe out their income from their patented chemicals. Cash is still king on Earth.

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  142. Why is that? Why have you taken it off the table? Just curious. You seem like a thinking person and certainly a literate one. Just very interested in your reasoning. Thank you

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  143. Give Breaking Bad a few more episodes. Maybe it's not for everyone, though, so don't try too hard. Merry Christmas and Happy Health to you too!

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  144. This is unbelievable I never knew cannabis oil was indeed wonderful and very effective in the treatment of cancer “if not by the government and so called rules to regulate cannabis for help my Husband to cure the Lung cancer would still have been alive. Thanks to the new policy of legalizing cannabis in my state and have even lost my Husband Lung cancer, and it was really shocked and surprised when I see a lot of documentary on how the cannabis oil had helped many people to whom His family thought they never could do next undergoing several “Chemo” from the department of my heart, and I have to say a word of appreciation to Rick Simpson for timely intervention in the lives of my Husband suffering from Lung cancer. As I write this testimony in this blog my Husband is so strong and healthy even though you have not completed the total dosage “for cannabis and medical consultation opportunity and get in touch with him if you are a cancer patient through his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com to get this miraculous oil. So far so good my Husband is responding to treatment of cannabis oil and the health condition have improved drastically for good. Here is his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com

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  145. This is unbelievable I never knew cannabis oil was indeed wonderful and very effective in the treatment of cancer “if not by the government and so called rules to regulate cannabis for help my Husband to cure the Lung cancer would still have been alive. Thanks to the new policy of legalizing cannabis in my state and have even lost my Husband Lung cancer, and it was really shocked and surprised when I see a lot of documentary on how the cannabis oil had helped many people to whom His family thought they never could do next undergoing several “Chemo” from the department of my heart, and I have to say a word of appreciation to Rick Simpson for timely intervention in the lives of my Husband suffering from Lung cancer. As I write this testimony in this blog my Husband is so strong and healthy even though you have not completed the total dosage “for cannabis and medical consultation opportunity and get in touch with him if you are a cancer patient through his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com to get this miraculous oil. So far so good my Husband is responding to treatment of cannabis oil and the health condition have improved drastically for good. Here is his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com..

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  146. This is unbelievable I never knew cannabis oil was indeed wonderful and very effective in the treatment of cancer “if not by the government and so called rules to regulate cannabis for help my Husband to cure the Lung cancer would still have been alive. Thanks to the new policy of legalizing cannabis in my state and have even lost my Husband Lung cancer, and it was really shocked and surprised when I see a lot of documentary on how the cannabis oil had helped many people to whom His family thought they never could do next undergoing several “Chemo” from the department of my heart, and I have to say a word of appreciation to Rick Simpson for timely intervention in the lives of my Husband suffering from Lung cancer. As I write this testimony in this blog my Husband is so strong and healthy even though you have not completed the total dosage “for cannabis and medical consultation opportunity and get in touch with him if you are a cancer patient through his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com to get this miraculous oil. So far so good my Husband is responding to treatment of cannabis oil and the health condition have improved drastically for good. Here is his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com......

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  147. This is unbelievable I never knew cannabis oil was indeed wonderful and very effective in the treatment of cancer “if not by the government and so called rules to regulate cannabis for help my Husband to cure the Lung cancer would still have been alive. Thanks to the new policy of legalizing cannabis in my state and have even lost my Husband Lung cancer, and it was really shocked and surprised when I see a lot of documentary on how the cannabis oil had helped many people to whom His family thought they never could do next undergoing several “Chemo” from the department of my heart, and I have to say a word of appreciation to Rick Simpson for timely intervention in the lives of my Husband suffering from Lung cancer. As I write this testimony in this blog my Husband is so strong and healthy even though you have not completed the total dosage “for cannabis and medical consultation opportunity and get in touch with him if you are a cancer patient through his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com to get this miraculous oil. So far so good my Husband is responding to treatment of cannabis oil and the health condition have improved drastically for good. Here is his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com

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  148. This is unbelievable I never knew cannabis oil was indeed wonderful and very effective in the treatment of cancer “if not by the government and so called rules to regulate cannabis for help my Husband to cure the Lung cancer would still have been alive. Thanks to the new policy of legalizing cannabis in my state and have even lost my Husband Lung cancer, and it was really shocked and surprised when I see a lot of documentary on how the cannabis oil had helped many people to whom His family thought they never could do next undergoing several “Chemo” from the department of my heart, and I have to say a word of appreciation to Rick Simpson for timely intervention in the lives of my Husband suffering from Lung cancer. As I write this testimony in this blog my Husband is so strong and healthy even though you have not completed the total dosage “for cannabis and medical consultation opportunity and get in touch with him if you are a cancer patient through his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com to get this miraculous oil. So far so good my Husband is responding to treatment of cannabis oil and the health condition have improved drastically for good. Here is his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com..

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  149. This is unbelievable I never knew cannabis oil was indeed wonderful and very effective in the treatment of cancer “if not by the government and so called rules to regulate cannabis for help my Husband to cure the Lung cancer would still have been alive. Thanks to the new policy of legalizing cannabis in my state and have even lost my Husband Lung cancer, and it was really shocked and surprised when I see a lot of documentary on how the cannabis oil had helped many people to whom His family thought they never could do next undergoing several “Chemo” from the department of my heart, and I have to say a word of appreciation to Rick Simpson for timely intervention in the lives of my Husband suffering from Lung cancer. As I write this testimony in this blog my Husband is so strong and healthy even though you have not completed the total dosage “for cannabis and medical consultation opportunity and get in touch with him if you are a cancer patient through his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com to get this miraculous oil. So far so good my Husband is responding to treatment of cannabis oil and the health condition have improved drastically for good. Here is his email: ricksimpsonmedicalservice@outlook.com....

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