Wednesday, April 11, 2012

On Single Dad Laughing and How to Be a Dad

The pseudo-sensitive Dan from Single Dad Laughing has come out with yet another blogbuster of a post that would have surely saved humanity, if only it hadn't been criticized by Beta Dad (and by others, including me) for being fake, self-serving, and offensive--considering the seriousness of the subject matter Dan chose to write about.

Others came out defending Dan, some questioning the reason for the attack, claiming Beta Dad and others attacked him only because he's becoming successful. I have two arguments against that claim.

First, Dan doesn't write to get stuff off his chest, but looks for subjects that would resonate with the most people, using the persona he's created to write about these issues in a pseudo-meaningful way. The end justifies the means. Dan wants to be a celebrity. He wants to be celebrated. And he WILL get there, one fake post at a time, one royalty-free well-placed stock photo at a time. Like the Glenn Beck of blogging, Dan holds a bottle of tears over his eyes, dropping the liquid in just before hitting "Publish."

Gays are people too... Bullying is bad... Anything that the people who think Dr. Phil "says it like it is" will find just controversial enough, without going too far and alienating the middle of the road Dan will follow and attempt to define for the rest of his life. Why is Beta Dad correct to attack "one of us"? Because Dan from Single Dad Laughing despises us. He calls his blog "so much more than a daddy blog" because daddy bloggers are losers and he's a winner. He looks down at the rest of us and then complain we don't love him as much as he loves himself. Unfortunately, there's not enough love in the world for that. We can join our hearts together like the Power Rangers of emotional fragility, and we'll still not be as sensitive and real as the persona Dan has created on his blog. Look at us, writing about the trials and tribulations of parenting... Now look at him! He's probably saved two people's lives by the time it took me to write this sentence.

And second, I'm truly happy when I see real people become successful and enter the mainstream. Charlie and Andy from How to Be A Dad have now nearly 100,000 followers on Twitter, their Sleep Positions posts have been seen by everyone you know, and they now have become famous enough as Internet-celebrities to move on to write for the Huffington Post and to appear in the funny videos at the bottom of this post (as part of the Kin Community). They've earned everything. They're talented and they're real. And although I didn't appreciate their April 1st post about the end of their blog, it's better to feel like a fool one day a year than to be a Single Dad Laughing reader and be taken for a phony emotional ride all year long.










35 comments:

  1. Thank you. If I have to see one more response to that Christian Gay post I might just vomit.

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  2. Any chance you might join us for our live show today (4/11) to discuss the topic?

    http://www.ustream.tv/channel/dadlabs

    We'd love your input.

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  3. People forget how small a group of readers we all have. I pay almost no attention to SDL. Most of the time I forget he is around.

    Andy and Charlie aren't on my radar screen either. When I think about it I visit their blog but most of the time I forget.

    Doesn't mean that they aren't good guys or do good work, but outside of the bubble they aren't much different than anyone else.

    And for what it is worth I wonder about every blogger that skyrockets to fame. 100,000 Twitter followers in short time is possible but it is often accompanied by buying followers.

    How many are engaged with them. How many interact with them. How many are real people and not bots.

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  4. The Glenn Beck of blogging. Well played.

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  5. Well said indeed! The difference of being straight to the point, and a watered down whiskey. I like one and dislike the other. I appreciate your post. Thanks.

    Craig

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  6. great post! I"m very happy for the How To Be A Dad team, too. Good guys.

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  7. Hey, can a billion Chinese be wrong about quality writing? I say "no." Emphatically.

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  8. Jack, your cynicism intrigues me.

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  9. Well done. Several other "Dad Bloggers" and myself had a discussion and even looked into Dan's authenticity about a year ago. Fortunately or unfortunately there's always going to be the Dan's of the world.

    Oh well...We just need to do what we do and let others do what they're going to do. In the end authenticity will be clear to all.

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  10. I don't read SDL or HTBD either. But then again I don't read too many blogs lately. Life's gotten way too busy. Great post though. That type of self promotion really turns me off as well.

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  11. Daddy's in Charge?, this guy is not only the savior of lonely gay people, but he will save Christianity from itself. He's like Spiderman when he saves Mary Jane AND the bus. And Dan does it with a perfect smile!

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  12. clay nichols, that was fun. Thanks. The picture of Charlie will haunt my dreams.

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  13. Jack, I can understand not being into How to be a Dad, don't get me wrong. And it's fair to wonder, too. But in the end, they're good guys who did some cool, funny stuff, and if the lighter side of fatherhood is going to be represented by anyone, it might as well be with the good guys.

    There's a big different between the two blogs, though, and it's not just the style. Neither Charlie nor Andy, nor anyone I know through 5 or under degrees of separation would be caught dead writing the blog description of Single Dad Laughing. While How to be a Dad is described as "Not so much a how-to as a how-not-to" blog, Dan describes his Single Dad Laughing as "one of the top blogs on the internet, and for a reason." -- His freaking words. The man truly works hard to be a douche.

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  14. PJ Mullen, thanks. I hope I didn't alienate all Glenn Beck fans out there. If they're offended, at least they have their gold and canned food to keep them happy.

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  15. Beta Dad, thanks. I hope it didn't come out as too band-wagony.

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  16. Craig, he can't take any chances or he'll lose the thousands of book deals! The controversial topics must not cross the controversial line. You know how you're in the mall and the muzak sounds familiar, and after a couple of minutes you realize it's "Smells like Teen Spirit" played by violins? That.

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  17. Tom Riles, thanks. For the record, when you mention How to be a Dad on MY blog, I still get the $10/per mention. A deal is a deal.

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  18. Muskrat, his blog is a Communist conspiracy. His goal is to numb our souls with hollow emotional buzzwords. If it doesn't succeed, it's back to Tetris.

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  19. Charlie, your hair IS too good to be real.

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  20. DadStreet, I remember that. At the time, I actually linked to Dan's previous blog, which was about life with his new wife (and her daughter, if I remember correctly). Unlike others, I do believe there's not much of a conspiracy here. I believe him when he says his life turned upside down, that he got depressed, and that he turned to The Secret, which taught him to envision himself as a superstar. Thing is, I believe he thinks it justifies the means.

    And frankly, he can scam a million more readers and I wouldn't care. He can call himself "one of the top blogs on the internet, and for a reason," and I wouldn't think it's any of my business--a new douche is born every day, after all. But when he calls his blog "So much more than a daddy blog," he's making enemies.

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  21. James (SeattleDad), I already quoted his blog description, but his keywords are just as funny. They include "Popular," "Famous," and "Fastest Growing." Don't they teach humility in Utah schools?

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  22. Thanks for the mention! That will be $75 per word. Make checks payable to AWESOMESTBLOGINTHEUNIVERSE Inc. Thanks.

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  23. BF,

    I wasn't slamming Charlie or Andy. I haven't any problem saying what is on my mind.

    One of the reasons I say I am "the original dad blogger" is because this crap is funny to me. Doesn't mean that I don't get irritated from time to time because others get recognition when I don't, because I do.

    I am human and sometimes it pisses me off.

    But SDL's antics tend not to bother me because they have such a limited impact. There are more than a few bloggers playing games with numbers, not to mention comments.

    I could create a dozen id's for myself and carry on an entire conversation in the comments section all by myself.

    Believe me, it wouldn't be the first time something like that happened.

    And to be clear, I am not saying that people shouldn't write about or throw crap in his direction. Just remember that every time you do you send new readers his way.

    There are a lot of "friers" in the world who will buy what he is selling.

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  24. HowToBeADad, hmm... There's been a terrible, terrible misunderstanding.

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  25. Jack, it is easy to game the system, which is why power-hungry psychopaths like Dan will win (relatively). It helps that there are a lot of people who mistake his buzz-seeking drivel for honest writing. You know there are a lot of dumb people out there. Can't fix that. Since Bush got elected for the second time my faith in humanity has been pretty shaky anyway.

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  26. Daddy blogs should be helping fathers be better fathers...if not, they shouldn't be called daddy blogs.

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  27. Interesting statement Rona... But not so.

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  28. Charlie, I'm pretty sure that was a random spam comment, but I keep these here if they relate a little to the posts. I don't try to understand their logic, though, because my head will explode if I do.

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  29. How to Be A Dad and SDL have two entirely different demographics. The good thing about Charlie and Andy's stuff is that it appeals across the board. SDL looks like it appeals to Nicholas Sparks loving women and freshly neutered men. So they shouldn't really be compared it seems.

    I lose chest hair when I read SDL.
    I lose brain cells when I read How to be a Dad.

    God bless, dudes.
    Russ

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  30. I know I know. I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not anti-SDL because he's more popular than I am, but because he gives fathers and bloggers a bad name.

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  31. I agree with you all. Most of us blog just to help other dads who just might need the help. We all love to do what we do and we don't make alot of cash for it, but we keep on doing it. I really don't follow the big names at all, I just follow the little guys...and I mean nothing bad when I say "little". LOL

    Keep on keeping on dads!

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  32. Daddyplace, I'm happy to follow bigger names if they write stuff I want to read, although I won't leave a comment if a blog post has more than a hundred comments. That's a little too Huffington-Post-ish.

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