Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Earning Our Stickers

Last month I read a post about a dad who earned his stickers by standing by his suffering kid's ER bed. Today that was me, so I had to go and read it again.

You live your life and realize each setback prepares you for a future success, and you learn to take things easy. After all, if you fall, you get back up. You get injured? You go to the doctor. Nothing is a big deal anymore.

Then you have a kid, and one day she falls. A silly little fall, but she's limping. So you go to the doctor and after a day of "monitoring," she sends your girl to get an x-ray. And you see your tiny little girl, who can barely say ten words but one of them is "Hurt," lying down on this huge bed, and you realize nothing has prepared you for that.

She's fine. The worst case would have been a fracture, which in the end isn't a big deal, at least not when compared to some of the stories I read on Twitter and on blogs from other parents. How do these people do it... How do they sit by and watch their little kids on these big beds?

I've earned my stickers today. Didn't cry once. Neither did she.

One hurdle passed, another one coming soon. Our boy will go into surgery later this month. Again, nothing complicated, the doctor says. "30 years, I've never lost a patient."

Lost a patient.

Just let this month be over.






injured

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27 comments:

  1. My daughter was sedated for an MRI at 2 and then had eye surgery 3 months after that. Walking out of the OR and leaving her in that big bed with a mask on her face and surrounded by doctors in gowns was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. Hang in there! so glad nothing is broken!

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  2. Sorry to hear. I feel your pain, though I cannot claim like you not to have shed a tear. It is painful watching those you lbe suffer.

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  3. I can't imagine, none of my kids have ever had to go through that yet. You would have gotten a sticker even if you cried though...

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  4. It's so hard. I remember when my kids were small, feeling like I had to protect them from EVERYTHING. And then it turns out that they can fall and need stitches while their holding your hand! They get asthma and diabetes and fractures no matter what you do. And even if you could prevent it all, you'd be doing a different kind of damage. But it still doesn't make it any easier. :-(

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  5. I would gladly have taken every pain and scary moment from my children and born them myself. Now I feel the same way for my grandchildren. Nothing is worse than a suffering child. So glad nothing is broken and hoping for the best for your little boy.

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  6. Ouch. I would gladly take the pain away from Lukas anytime I could. Sadly I can't do that. Hope she is doing okay.

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  7. Kayris, thanks. Now that the girl is all better, the boy still has the surgery. It never ends...

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  8. Dad to 3 Boys, they're so small and dependent, and they put so much trust in us. I know going to the hospital is the right thing to do, but I still feel like I'm betraying them but allowing them to be sick or in pain.

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  9. anordinarydad, I can't imagine it too (the coming surgery). I've never had a surgery. My wife, on the other hand, spent some time in a children's hospital when she was a teenager, so I expect her to be the rock here. (But not really. We're both going to be a mess.)

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  10. Jill, funny thing is that I'm trying to be protective, making sure my kids don't do anything too dangerous, but all the serious falls and bruises happened right next to me. That last one happened while I was sitting right next to her. She falls hundreds of times every day, and I've learned to stop paying attention, because it also helps her get over her falls. But then she started limping, and saying, "Hurt"... That was too much.

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  11. Cynthia, thank you. It's supposed to be an easy surgery and he should be back home the same day. Maybe if I had a surgery myself I would have been less panicky.

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  12. James, thanks! She's all better by now, until next time. And he will be better by next month.

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  13. Dealing with our children's hardships is one of the hardest things I have had to encounter in all my life. It really sucks. My daughter is 13 and I know I have a lot more to endure. I feel your pain...

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  14. I also feel your pain. Hope your little one is doing ok. My son spent 52 days at the Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital in Manhattan, much of the time on a ventilator. He had life threatening surgery on day 14. It was brutal! I hope to never have to go back, although the odds are good that in his lifetime, he may have to visit again. Hopefully this time for a bump or a bruise. @4nicudads

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  15. mistersilverio, thank you. We've had a rough couple of months here. I will be happy when this month is over. Until the next crisis.

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  16. 4 Nicu Dads, see, I feel bad when I hear stories like yours, because who am I with my silly complaints? I'm glad your son is better, though. I feel that like adults that come out on the other side of life-threatening conditions get stronger, maybe the same is subconsciously true for infants.

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  17. As a NICU dad I didn't have to see the "big bed, little boy" but instead something sized just for him with a staff of people that really seemed to care about his well being. Being in the hospital day after day has given me much time to think about what it will be like the first time our son bashes his head and we wonder, "Do we rush to the hospital now?"
    Thanks for your point of view. After 42 days of having to leave knowing he is still there one thing has always kept me going. The look that we get when we come in for our visit and he sees us. Not fear or loneliness just, "Oh, hi mommy and daddy. I'm happy to see you both."
    Maybe I'll ask him if we can get a sticker today...

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  18. Mark, hey, you tell me if the hospital doesn't give you stickers! I will raise some hell for you.

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  19. Thanks! Turns out my kid was hanging on to them for me. He handed them over when we went home last week. :)

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  20. Hey i just want to ask,are you a single dad?It seems that you are raising your child alone or you just enjoy writing a blog too?

    Thanks,
    Andrea

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    Replies
    1. Oh nono. There's a wife here somewhere.

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  21. That's a great father!As parents to our beloved young, we normally get unprepared on some situations as stated in this post. We need to be brave and strong for our children.There's no place of losing hope.

    http://msecuredatalabs.com/

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  22. I remember the time when my youngest sister met an accident while she was in school. My mom is out of town at the time and my father is in work. Since I am the oldest member of the family left I am quite nervous after seeing my sister's fractured arm. I don't know what to so and I started panicking. I am glad that my Aunt helped us by being with us.

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  23. as a father i also felt your pain, it seems that there are moments or times that as much as we want to do something to lessen the anguish or pain there still times that we cannot do anything about something and that is very frustrating as a father..

    froi @ http://msecuredatalabs.com

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  24. Another thing that I have noticed in my observations in regards to men is that they tend to think that if they messed up their lives somehow in their early years that they know exactly what their children are doing and thinking. I know my dad did this on many occasions. He was upset with how he did in school because according to him he did not care about school and let his grades go. I believe his mom and dad would help him out quite a bit to get him through school. It seems he was a bit of a bad boy and got into a lot of trouble also. So he decided early on that none of his children would get any help from him with school-work and he was a hard with his punishments when it came to grades.

    All children are not created equal and most of the time a child does not have the same thoughts as their parents unless the parents give them those thoughts. I was the type of child who was introverted and had trouble asking questions. I worked as hard as I could but I needed extra help. I was not lazy or disobedient like my dad,

    www.skinb5.com

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  25. This is really touching! I remember my father rush me to the hospital as I fall down from the stairs and got myself injured on my left ankle. I hope every father are like you! Cheers to this blog ^^

    ivy Maletzky @ Acne and Treatment



    www.skinb5.com

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  26. I remember my father rushed me to the hospital because i injured my left ankle as i fell of the stairs. My dad did cry a lot since he was worried. I just cried reading your blog. It reminds me during that day. But thank you for sharing us this story


    Ivy Maletzky @ Acne and Treatment.

    www.skinb5.com

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