First of all, a sidenote: even with a blue face and pointy horns, Howie Mandel is less creepy in the movie than he is nowadays.
Anyway, I ask the girl what the movie is about, because it's obvious she's seen it many times before, and she tells me
This monster lives under this kid's bed, and he takes him with him under the bed to the Monster Land, where it's really cool, because there are no parents and no homework, and you get to eat candy . . .
But I already stopped listening because I'm stuck on that first thing she said...
It's "really cool" because there are no parents? But... but we're so much fun! I mean, sure, we say, "Don't do this" or "that," and we say things like, "I will NOT tell you again," and, "Go to your room," and, "I told you if you do this one more time we're going straight home, so now you can only blame yourself. And no screaming in the car. It's dangerous," and, "Sure you can have a cookie. After you finish your couscous," and--
Sometimes I get so involved in this role I'm playing, that I don't even stop to think... I wouldn't change any of the things I say, don't get me wrong, because it is my often-unpleasant job to turn my kids into good people. But on the other hand, if a blue Howie Mandel crawled out from under my boy's bed and invited him to a fun-filled parent-free land, I'd understand if he took his hand and crawled back in without even saying goodbye.