In the past year, many good bad and ugly people have tried to define me. "Hey, everyone else is writing a story about stay-at-home-dads! Get on it!"
And they did. We were poker-playing monkeys for these journalistic zoologists. And what offended them most was our presumptuousness. How dare we try to define ourselves? Don't we know there are people who are paid to define us?
Marie Claire called us trophy husbands and status symbols, Dr. Laura said we destroy marriages, David Brooks said we weren't nurturing, and The Atlantic said we simply weren't necessary.
But finally, Josh Levs from CNN let a few blogging fathers have their say. Finally, fathers get to talk about daddy-blogging in particular and about modern parenthood in general. Unfortunately, what should have been a positive piece has turned into a ridiculous attack on blogging fathers and on stay-at-home fathers.
Here's some of the video.
Now, I'm saying the video above is some of the video because the actual CNN video includes a great line from Drew Griffin, CNN's own mustache-free Ron Burgundy. The three CNN hosts talk about the bad economy, and Griffin says, "Fortunately, we haven't been turned into stay at home dads just yet."
Other than this keeper, there are enough comments from Griffin to warrant the title of this post. He suspects, for example, that fathers don't read these blogs. Not sure where he gets that one from. Oh, and stay-at-home-dads shouldn't waste time writing and reading blogs, because they should spend their time watching their kids. Well, actually I have some spare time and I spend it reading and writing blogs. Or as I said on Twitter:
What kills me about these sorts of discussions is that they are reporting on something that they have NO understanding about, like NONE. So, instead of trying to understand, they simply sit back and disagree with what the bloggers are saying, even though they have no basis for their opinion.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of any of these CNN tools, and I don't care what they say about fatherhood. I've been a stay-at-home/work-at-home dad for 8 years. In that time I've been pity-ed, scorned, and snickered. I have also had at least enough sex to reproduce 2 more times and made enough money that my family lives comfortably (always below our means) and goes on a weeks vacation every year. Screw the new "re-examination" of manhood, and fatherhood this just means that men are out of work in middle America too, the difference? Many of these men can't cut it, just as many wives of stay at home dads couldn't cut a daily existence where the only goal, is to get out of the house without a baby fecality. Some women aren't cut out to be mothers but most CAN have a child, some men aren't cut out to be fathers but most CAN cause a child. Hopefully we can eventually get to a place where opinions about gender suitability for parenthood reach parity, and males on TV feel comfortable discussing something other than football.
ReplyDeleteI am not a stay at home dad, the longest I have been the stay at home parent was 5 weeks when my wife was on teaching rounds before graduating.
ReplyDeleteI have a huge amount of respect for mothers and fathers who stay at home with the children.
You are doing a fantastic job and kudos from me.
The world is filled with morons- some of them with cameras and microphones.
ReplyDeleteSciFi Dad, not much to expect from those empty-headed bimbos. They're no better than the Fox News kind.
ReplyDeleteJK, see, although there have been stay-at-home-dads before I started blogging about it (can you imagine?), there is a sense of a gradual change in perception. As much as I don't care about perception, there are real life implications to the visibility of stay-at-home-dads, even if it's just the existence of changing tables in men's rooms. With the visibility, though, come attempts by professionals and other idiots to quickly define this phenomenon and move on to the next issue. Today it's stay-at-home dads, tomorrow it's the rise of vampire sub-culture among teenagers. Still, after the positive visibility comes the backlash (not just from a CNN tool, but even from some blogging fathers). I just had to speak out against the backlash, even if ultimately it matters little to my own life.
Daddyo, thanks. Although it's not easy, I know many of us can't imagine going back to work outside. (That's why we keep making those babies.)
Jack, I know. There are some good people out there, but the morons are always louder.
I've been learning a lot about the dad blog community this past weekend. I've always enjoyed your blog and I have huge amounts of respect for SAHDs. Also, I thought your Tweet rocked!
ReplyDeleteNews people don't know how to converse without a teleprompter it seems like.. Because when they try too.. They talk out their arse..
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to chime in on this but I felt I'd be too much on my soapbox. Besides, you said it best in your post.
ReplyDeleteLee, thanks. And good luck.
ReplyDeleteEric, empty-headed bimbos. Exactly like the Fox News crew. That should probably be the new CNN catchphrase.
Kevin, thanks! And if only one person Googles "Drew Griffin" and ends up here, then I did my job. You can say I'm a dreamer, but I believe that one day, people will say "Drew Griffin," and immediately think "Dick."
I dont understand the attack at all. Blogging fathers / work at home fathers pay tax and can work hard. what is the problem
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm a fellow blogger who just found that nifty site you did and added the facebook like widgit. I am not very code savvy and wondered if you would be so kind as to tell me what portion of code I need to remove in order for my widgit to show up on the home pages too (as you have done with yours). I would be soo appreciative! Oh, and I love your tweet about blogging instead of watching CNN. Too funny :)
ReplyDeleteHe is a poor representative for the news profession.
ReplyDeleteHey Leah, no worries. I'm also not code savvy. For some reason, the post that had the Facebook box didn't include instructions on getting the box on the main page, but a similar post (with a Like button but without a box) did say how to do that. Here it is:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bloggerplugins.org/2010/04/facebook-like-button-for-blogger.html
You don't have to copy the final code from that page (because that means no box). Just find and delete the two red lines that disappear when you change Display from "On Post Pages" to "Everywhere." Let me know if it doesn't work.
I got it! Thanks so much for your help :)
ReplyDeleteCool. Looks good. Glad I could help.
ReplyDeleteWhat a dick.
ReplyDeleteNews thrives off controversy just as flies thrive off of shit. But unlike flies, when what they thrive on doesn't actually exist, they always try to create it. And personally, I think the flies deserve more respect than reporters like this creep because they obviously get more constructive work done than he does. But it's CNN, just one of the many "news" stations known for not exactly setting any standards of fair or ethical journalism, which is why I don't bother watching the news either. I'd rather play with my kid.
I loved your tweet and your coverage of the issue.
Keep on keepin' on.
Best,
Dare
Hey, Darius, thanks for the comment. It's sad to think that people like him actually have the power to shape popular opinion. Although in the end, popular opinion doesn't really matter as well.
ReplyDeleteI've gotta say that, while these hosts don't quite grasp what's going on in the dad community, I thought they asked some relevant questions. Griffin, being the interviewer, clearly has no idea what he's talking about and that's annoying. But, the 6 blogger panelists really did an awesome job and represented us well. So, I think they were the meat of the thing, and what they said was really good. But, you're right -- it would have been nice to hear a little less snark from the host.
ReplyDeleteKeith, for me it was just a shame that the two CNN hosts let their own insecurities get in the way of a good story. At least that's how I saw that. The fathers did a great job, I agree.
ReplyDeleteI know. What a dumb ass. It was a good story minus the peanut gallery Griffin and the other dude provided.
ReplyDeleteI have been the stay at home parent was 5 weeks when my wife was on teaching rounds before graduating.
ReplyDeleteI think the flies deserve more respect than reporters like this creep because they obviously get more constructive work done than he does. But it's CNN, just one of the many "news" stations known for not exactly setting any standards of fair or ethical journalism, which is why I don't bother watching the news either.
ReplyDeletePeople all over the world make money for looking down on others.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say -- I've stopped watching CNN years ago because their standards have turned into Perez Hilton-type journalism.
ReplyDeleteI think the flies deserve more respect than reporters like this creep because they obviously get more constructive work done than he does.
ReplyDelete