Tuesday, December 29, 2009

How to Make Sure Your Son Grows Up to Think Inside the Box

How to Make Sure Your Son Grows Up to Think Inside the Box

So when my baby turned two, I bought him a blackboard and some chalk. It was time for him to be creative. Sure, I thought, at first he'd just draw some lines, but with time those lines would turn into whatever he wants them to be. I don't know if he grows up to be an artist, but at least he will grow up with imagination and creativity and the simple magic of turning an empty page into a canvass.

And of course, as soon as I opened the box of chalks, he took one and started using it on the wooden bed frame.

And did I tell him what he did was beautiful? Did I encourage his imaginative thinking-outside-the-box? Did I quietly leave the room to let him explore his world alone?

Nope.

I told him he should only use the chalk on the blackboard. The bed is for sleeping, and the blackboard is for drawing. And then I erased the chalk from the bed frame.
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13 comments:

  1. I wouldn't worry about it too much - kids need boundries too

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  2. I know, but still...

    There are "This is the sidewalk and this is the road" boundaries, and "This is fun, but this hurts" boundaries, and then there are boundaries that seem to do nothing for him. This boundary just teaches him adults set seemingly random boundaries on creativity.

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  3. You didn't really address the obvious question. Why did you stop him from drawing on the bed frame? What were you fearing that led to that 'no'?

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  4. Nice post! I am having similar experience with my 3 years old daughter. It's very difficult to mark a boundary between 'you can do' and 'you can't do'.

    I wish you and all the readers of this blog a very Happy New Year 2010!

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  5. Marty, I'll tell you what I was fearing: Two minutes of extra cleaning. And I know it's wrong, and I still can't help myself...

    Basanta, I want to give him every opportunity to be anything he'd want to be, but there's still stuff I need to deal with myself. Have a great 2010!

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  6. You could be Dutch with that tightly defined liberalism.

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  7. I guess the Dutch know the difference between "Do what you want" and "Do kind-of what you want as long as it's in an authorized place us good members of society don't need to be aware of."

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  8. Speaking as the father of a 7yo creative type:

    We foster her artistic side completely, she owns an easle\paint, art desk and sketch books\pencils and anything else that will help evene though mom and dad can't draw a straight line. With that in mind though, it is important to learn when and where it is appropriate to be artistic.

    We are teaching the lesson right now of "it's great to be nutty and show up wearing a tutu on your head but not when we are late for church" for example.

    You just have to get creative with your ideas. If your rule is "chalk only on chalk boards in the house" (like mine is), buy him some sidewalk chalk for a buck and let him go wild on the entire driveway. He gets a creative outlet but understands that the driveway is the place he can be wild and free.

    Don't be hard on yourself man. In the long run, do you want a creaive but responsible citizen or someone who is arrested for tagging buildings? a bit dramatic for sure but it illistrates the point.

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  9. The man, I don't know if being a graffiti artist is the worst thing in the world, but you're probably right in principal. There's a time to learn to express yourself and a time to learn about boundaries. And what better way to learn about boundaries than with the actual boundaries of the blackboard?

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  10. Well, one of these days he will grow up, and perhaps have children of his own. And then you can encourage unbridled creativity in your grandchildren. (And let their parents clean up the resulting creative messes!)

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  11. Jaya, you're right. Grandparents have all the fun.

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  12. As said before, I wouldn't invest too much worry thought in to this. Kids these days don't have strong boundries and I hate to think that it's that which is causing the crime and disrespect we see so often. Thinking inside and outside of the box proves that one thing is happening - at least they're thinking.

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